April 30, 2005 COLOURED.

ladies and gentlemen, never in my whole life have i expect to see SOF ppl in the flesh... u know all about how secretive, elusive, lost of identities, rare breed of elites in singapore... even better than commandos, guards, rangers, divers... simply becos they have done it all... look at their badges on their uniforms and u know what i mean... provided u have a chance of spotting them...

saw them a few weeks ago but they were only identified as commandos, which is like too common la, my sec sch classmate oso commando... i could only confirm that they are realli SOF after i got up close and personal with some of them over the 2 days at singapore poly... yea, while u guys were happily on holidays, the SOF actually visited sP...

3 times different guys spoke to me, and 3 times they asked why dun u join us... i knew then they were not some commandos... otherwise they wouldnt have the diver, ranger n airborne badges at all... and they talked alot about stuff which commandos normally dun do, like these things ask the divers can liao, what for call the commandos... they only drop hints of what they are, but ask them to specify, they only say they are commandos...

the first guy that spoke to me was a warrant officer, i also duno why he picked me out of othr guys in the class, maybe the rest are sleeping then i the only one awake down there... or maybe he thought that my blur blur look could be an asset... the second one was a staff sergeant... he wanted to read the papers that i was holding so he started a convo... asking about why i joined the navy... then he say all "the navy no gd army gd" brainwashing tactics, i simply told him i hated field camp... sounds very sissy la, quitting army becos of the field camps but i really hate it la...

the 3rd one perhaps sums it up best... he used to be in the navy and same vocation as us before he converted...

"ask yourself, is this what u want for the next 10 years"

maybe becos we are still green, so we dun really get what he mean, he only said that radar plotters onboard ship are the most busiest persons while sailing, he got tired of doing the same stuff over and over for 2 - 3 years and decided enough's enough...

u know last time i used to tink, SOF posters are everywhere, but who the heck do u go to approach if u are really interested... so the chance came, not once... not twice... but thrice... just like that, within the space of 2 days...

in the past if u ask me, i would say a definite yes, i am going to be fitter than rambo, more handsome than brad pitt, richer than bill gates, more deadly than james bond... ask me now, i will think very long... my mother confirm wun let me join becos all mothers dun like their kids to be involved in some dangerous activities la... personally i felt that i will have to be a slave to the army forever if i really join them, since all they know are combat stuff and not much technical skills...

true, they get to see and do alot of things which most people wun ever have a chance in their entire life at all, and whats more, they are paid good money... but i really cant picture myself not learning technical stuff which will be very critical in future, like once ur contract's up then ur life will be turned upside down loh... at least got the technical thing still can go out work work...

so SOF, im sorry... i may be fit but i know i am not combat fit... only time will tell if this is going to be the decision that i will live to regret...

9:51 PM

April 29, 2005 COLOURED.

hohoho, u know something actually happened on a bad bad bookout wednesday?

that day becos i was held back by the stupid officer on duty, i decided to give my mother a call to inform her that i will be late... so she was saying something like ok and mentioned the word "steamboat"... wah sey, so good ah, machiam like i very long never come back like that, prepare steamboat for me to eat sia...

after reaching home super super late at 9+ pm not having anything... the steamboat was there, all mine... yea i was the last one to eat and like eating all the leftovers only nia... but still alot la, so many fishballs and meat balls like my balls not power enuf like that... but nonetheless, its still steamboat, not everyday have one, so happy happy loh...

then hor, my father said something which almost make my eyes pop out and become balls for me to eat...

"ur mother today know u come home then she invite her colleague over for me to get to know each other"


i only went to the bridal shop quite often in jurong where my mother used to work before, and the manageress seeing how filial i was... wanted to recommend her daughter to me, but i always remember my mother rejecting her advances... saying that she was too hot for me and told me she is too lian... in short, she didnt like her future daughter-in-law... hahaha, anyway i didnt saw her daughter before so i duno, and i wasnt that interested in girls at that time...

my mother new workplace at tanjong pagar is another bridal shop but i never went there before one... then tt time she go and developed some photos hor, got some pics is taken from her workplace with her colleagues... i like got see 1 or 2 quite cute leh... lol...

so while my father made that statement, i thought he wanted to see some reaction from me... i looked at him stone-faced and say "huh, really ah"... actually inside my heart i was like "WAH SEY, BLIND MATCHMAKING AH"... so guess what, i couldnt help but probe more about the details... :)

aged 23, indo-chinese, poly graduate working at the bridal shop... based on what i can recalled from the photos, she should be that dark-skinned girl who looks like a lot like malay sia... but the importance is that shes cute! and somemore shes older than me, my favorite loh! now i am wondering if my mother has been taking IT and english lessons secretly to view my blog... otherwise how she know i prefer older women sia...

my thoughts may be running wild, but steamboat and bringing someone over at the same time is definitely fishy...

hahaha, actually i dun really take it that seriously la, if my mother really want to be matchmaker, she will bring her over some other day de... im fine with it, unless she thinks i am completely uninterested in girls and starts bringing the men in then we will have a massive problem here... :)

8:04 PM

April 28, 2005 COLOURED.

"honggy is totally nice.

thanks a lot, honggy."

if anyone ever say that again to my face, i swear i will cry straight away... knowing a guy like me whose eyes like too dry liao too long never cry, u can be sure that these words are completely overwhelming loh...

so simple yet so powerful, that is perhaps the best compliment i have ever seen or heard becos it justs sounds sincere, like something straight out from ur heart...

just to make things clear, i did not make this up ok, someone actually wrote this... but its not on my friendster profile... goodness knows how's shes doing now... :)

11:05 PM

honestly, no... seriously, i think women are very problematic really...

its okay to let a ger have her way since becos u know, they will start throwing tantrums if u dun... but it starts getting out of hand when she wun hear anything that u say and she feels that anything that comes out from ur mouth sounds like something very irritating even though u are right and she is obviously wrong...

she thought guys can do what she can do... maybe she didnt realise that guys arent attracted to ppl who doesnt have 2 buns and 7 holes... i mean come on la, guys always tend to give girls some slack when assigning them with tasks becos they all scared wait she cry then thats it liao... if its a guy, he wouldnt give a damn whether he go one corner and cry or not, he would only be labelled sissy... gers are already feminine, so by right they should cry, if they never cry, means they are something wrong liao...

they really should stop being so ba dao leh... do u know that the only guys who will agree that u are always right are the ones who want to bed you and thats all?

if i could erase my bad memories of her and think about her eyes, her laughter, her touch, her constant complaints that i am always walking ard half-naked outside when i am not, and more recently bum bumping against bum while working in confined space... she would really be the one... eh bums brushing how come sound like lesbian sex eh... :X

(ps: she believes i have smoked before, lol me smoke???)

last point to note, i actually had a chat with a SOF personnel today... hehehehe... more on that in the next post, so watch this space...

10:12 PM

April 27, 2005 COLOURED.

i love bookout yet i hate it... i will hate it somemore but in the end i like it...

weird la, on the day itself everyone is so happy, all planning to do their own things liao... then when the actual time comes for us to be released from the gates like bloodhounds... there will always be some delay here and there... the sergeant will duty will always like to take his own sweet time letting us go... its like everything is done on purpose, trying to keep us as long as possible becos he cannot book out... its not just one person, it has already happened everytime on a book out day... then when he finally let us go, it is always the case of missing the last bus which is like very wtf... so near yet so far... no public transport around loh...

for all the agony and disappointment, the feelings go away once we stepped inside anything that moves... beside lorry, cars or buses... everyone will start feeling happy again... say in 45 minutes, u get to experience what life is really all about... happiness, joy, sadness, disappointment, anger... its like a lady experiencing her period ba...

this is what exactly happened today loh... for the first time we have the privilege of booking out on wednesday becos we are going to singapore poly on thursday for some lessons... happy happy want to go out of camp after 1800hrs but the officer on duty wanted us to go off at 1830... which is not very fine for us at all as 1830 always means 1840 and later... becos of the time taken to check our attire + the standard "got bring this got bring that or not" convos... then u know what happened later la...

at first we thought still got 1 last bus around that time one... so we waited, and waited, and waited... then someone said the last bus had already left long time ago... omg, the only alternative left was to take the bus from the other base... while waiting, there was this lorry on the other side of the road that was stuck, one of the tyres couldnt get out fom the sand... no matter how the banglas try also cannot get the tyre onto some hard track... so my class being helpful persons, except for me of course... they decided to help them out... after for about half an hour, they finally managed to get the lorry out... at that time, the bus from the other base was leaving liao, we try to flag it down but the bus driver duno whats wrong with his brain or something... he see us then he smile smile and drive off... the bus still got space loh... i think he is like filming some jackass episodes, then the cameras will zoom in on our crestfallen faces when the bus just go off like that...

then some smart alec suggested that we hitch a ride from the banglas in their lorry since we helped them, so they thought the banglas are supposed to return the favour... little did i expect the banglas to actually oblige with our request... so we set off, sitting at the back of the lorry complete with a few banglas as well as our 2 ladies... we sure look a weird bunch... like we are part of the bangla family... a few of us including me were sitting over some stuff as there wasnt enough space... so it was pretty and obviously illegal... anyway we told the driver to drop us off somewhere which is suitable for both parties... he was going to tampines so he suggested the mrt... like why couldnt he suggest tanah merah since it was shorter and i no need to go 2 extra stops right... whatever la ah, since the lorry is not ours and we just have to suck our thumbs and let him drive us where he wants to...

duno we suay or what, during the journey, the driver said he spotted the traffic police behind us and said he had to drop us somewhere fast... again, what can we do, the lorry is not ours and its not good to have his name taken down for letting us sit at the back of the lorry... so we suck our big toes this time... luckily he was nearly reaching tampines mrt there liao, he dropped us at the nearest available bus stop and we just walked towards the mrt... i only heaved a sigh of relief after boarding the train... i have just experienced my period... wooo~

11:58 PM

April 24, 2005 COLOURED.

i think i am bad, for not wanting to turn up for my fren's bdae...

but do you think i care?

i got my own stuff to do and i dun have time to entertain others, as simple as that...

with money, you will see people's true colors... but who am i to judge when i sold myself to the navy for the same reason... actually i didnt join the navy for the money... hmm sounds a bit patriotic, country-loving person right... i join becos i duno what i wanna do once i finish my national service...

being a gigolo sounds good but that would have put my computer networking diploma to waste... maybe i could be a technopreneur by setting up a online gigolo service but i am not so adventurous la... the only scenario i can picture of after my national service is to go back study again... its a real pity that i am not a girl so no need to serve ns and straight away go and work for a company... or complete my ns before taking the course...

i thought going back to study is just going to waste money... imagine by the time i finish my national service, i will be 22, study lets say the earliest you can complete is 24 years old... so you start work at 24 years old and your pay? fucking little unless you so heng happen to be a sailor... yea i learn from a guy in my current class who studies nautical studies during poly and after his ns, he is going to work for his shipping line that sponsored his studies... i dun wan to reveal how much he will be paid becos it is really very obscene loh the amount... u can actually imagine how much money those merchant ships actually make and why so many pirates want to attack them... all i can say is the pay i am getting now which to me is not bad already is peanuts to what he will be earning soon... somemore he is not taking a senior position or what loh, just a normal position only... sounds very attractive right, but in the open seas, only man-of-war ships are safe... merchant ships are just too prone to pirate attacks...

so instead of wasting 4 years idling... might as well go start making money and learn new skills... i also duno how revelant is my diploma related to navigation... as long as u got electrical cert can liao, the rest just go in and learn... so thats how i ended up here... officially self sufficient now... actually during poly i am also self sufficient, school fees and my cable internet bills all i pay one... except that i still need allowance from my mother, now no need liao... hmm, still need la, to cook for me and wash my clothes... :X must faster find a china mei mei to marry then throw all the stuff to her... =D

initially i thought if i did well for my 10 year contract and i were to receive the second contract, i would have signed it immediately to secure my future... but after hearing what an instructor said, i thought outside could have been even better in years to come... now cannot la, now no experience no skills... just lan lan stay here and learn the expertise... heck i think i better concentrate more once the technical phase starts, thats where my future ricebowl really lies...

u know of my dream? to retire at the age of 40, living in a resale 3-room flat... maybe with a flatmate or even better a soulmate... doesnt have to be married, just have to be female though... china mei mei or cheongsam lovers prefered... LOL

too bad its almost impossible to retire at 40 unless u r fucking rich... i am working for the money and i want the money to work for me... now i know why people have open 2 bank accounts, to think that i actually cancelled one account which my mother created for me when i was a kid... going to bank to open an account is such a chore... they ought to open 7 days a week like departmental stores or even better do it like convenience stores...

somehow i think my weekends will be spent at the banks soon... to open a new account, to apply for card, to apply for 2 giro applications, to apply for 3 thumbprint verifications, to apply for debit card, to convert thumbprint to signatured based account... and the shit goes on and one... the debit card can wait til end of july... i need the rest fast becos i 4get my pin n userid for internet banking... :X

3:37 PM

April 23, 2005 COLOURED.

hehehe, after one week of frustation, i can finally afford to relax for a while... did i told u the computer nearly went bonkers when i was assembling it? cannot start then go back sim lm let him fix fix... at home install windows xp pro nice nice then move on to sp2 suddenly big big problem... duno y the system suddenly become like snail like that... load so slow then i dulan go and uninstall then got more problems... this week come back from camp quickly go and format and reinstall everything over again then can... but the biggest mistake is i 4get to do backup on my c drive... LOL heng heng i only lose my desktop files and my documents stuff which isnt alot...

fyi, i bought a mid range system and quite proud of it la, my first time assemble choosing parts by myself instead of buying straight from dell or other computer companies... last week i buy hor, i thought not bad liao, spent 1.1k on the parts... what i didnt know was that my friend who was tagging along at first go n meet up with his insurance agent to get documents, then after i went back home with my goodies, he went back to sim lim to buy a system more power than me... 2.5k lor, siao kia one...

for the techies interest, here are my current specs (including old parts)

amd athlon 64 3000+ socket 939
gigabyte ga-k8nf-9 nf4
corsair pc 3200 ddr400 cl 2.5 1GB (512 *2)
leadtek px6600gt pci-e extreme version
samsung syncmaster 753dfx
maxtor 120GB HDD
quantum fireball 20GB HDD
benq dw1620pro 16* +/- dvdwriter
xp-7788 420w casing

the biggest difference i notice is the memory without a doubt... last time use 128mb always end up having to use virtual memory... now 1gb ram want to use up also got problem... and corsair actually cheaper than kingston memory, wtf...

and in case u never see it, i am now using amd liao... so many people using intel pentium but got quite a few recommended amd athlon so i decided to test and see nice or not loh... its good for a refreshing change but i still abit confused... they compare 3000+ to pentium 2.8 or 3.0ghz yet 3000+ actually runs at 2.0ghz which is like very WTF... actually the reason y they running at such speed is becos they have low frequency than intel... i also duno how to compare la... just know that amd is good for gaming, intel is good for applications... i like it now becos for some reason, my download speed has improved by abit liao... :D

oh ya, i just receive a 512MB transmemory thumbdrive for free... no la, i buy insurance get one... so timely, new parts, new thumbdrive... swwweeet... eh, anyone want me to burn movies tell me... i can burn liao... :D :D :D

will write something more interesting later

8:03 PM

April 17, 2005 COLOURED.

i am pissed off...

buy my computer parts happy happy assemble end up cannot start up the system... zzzZzzzzZz... tried all sorts of funny methods and even extreme methods like soldering the wires on the power switch connector to no avail... now my nice rig is just lying down there like a dormant volcano... wan to erupt also cannot... have to go another trip down to sim lim again to find out why... I WANT FAST COMPUTER NOW!!!

1:42 AM

April 10, 2005 COLOURED.

she is nanako... or mimiko... shit i forget the name liao... =X

if you havent watched one missed call, then what were you doing when the movie was out in singapore sometime last year... i didnt catch it becos i got it on my computer and it wasnt until recently that i watched it... this is the horror show of the year... the actress looks so pretty when she's scared... the twist so power... damn i liked it so much i even got the ringtone on my hp liao... duno what ringtone is that? the ringing tone whereby the dead calls the soon-to-be-dead loh...

now this is mimiko... or nanako... haiyah, if the top one is mimiko, then the other one is nanako, if top one is nanako then bottom one is mimiko!!!

anyway better go and watch it leh, otherwise you will be missing out on a good horror movie...

"i'll take you to the hospital... here take this jawbreaker, you will recover faster"

8:15 PM

this is the real thing... and he is what i call the true washboard... walan, i also want his body loh! *makes note to whack hard hard

i say i want to upgrade my computer until now still haben upgrade yet... can you still imagine ppl using 128m ram on windows xp? very pathetic right, lol... feels so ashamed of myself, somemore poly study abt computer technology... even the computer idiots have faster pcs than me... maybe this saturday going down to sim lim liao... i had enough of my internet connection always disconnecting due to my bittorrent going berserk... of cos faster pc means loading times will be reduced... thank goodness for hardware guides for their price guides and recommended fixes, i agar agar know what are the things i am getting liao... the only problem is money a bit tight... like that i how to save money, the balance in my bank like keep dropping de...

will kind souls spare me any money?

7:04 PM

April 09, 2005 COLOURED.

i managed to get this from my army friend's friendster pictures... all of them are my section mates with the short one squatting down being my gay buddy... LOL, too bad he went to airforce instead of joining me... such a pity that he wun find another gay buddy in the air force as good as me ba... surprisingly in this pic i wasnt wearing any specs, what the heck... i remembered, this was taken during the field camp where i broke my specs while wearing my helmet... WTF! army sucks la, long live navy~

10:56 PM

i thought go some restaurant eat to celebrate my grandfather's birthday is going to be a sibei sian affair... we went to this yunnan restaurant at this chinese/japanese garden there... the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word yunnan is hair care and balding men... what they didnt advertise was the ladies... more specifically, the china mei meis~!!!!

wooHOO, for once i remembered my roots, and totally forgot about the sentosa babes or lacy bras or crazy gers... i immediately thought of my infatuation for tina and her cheongsam at raffles marina... my radar mode was on automatically the moment i stepped inside the restaurant and then i can feel the overwhelming red army instantly... other than the usual china aunties, there was the younger gers... hehehehehe :D :D :D *salivates

then i spotted a nice one... the name... karen... i was watching... every step, every movement she makes... just like the way my eyes were fixed onto tina that time... and i cant help comparing both of them....

looks like christine, bigger version
alluring china accent
cream colored cheongsam
gd posture accentuating her chest
short hair

looks like kim ha neul
looks local, should be local
pale orange top, black skirt
slouch posture, abit paisei to show her gd figure
long hair tied to a bun

from the way i described them, u agar agar also know who is the winner liao eh... no one can beat tina and her omfg accent loh... once she starts to open her cherry lips, i will immediately lau nua loh... her accent is so china yet so seducing and classy... if you close your eyes you can actually imagine zhang zi yi is right in front of you talking... OMG!!! tio beh pio liao la!

if not enough, imagine zhang zi yi in front of u wearing cheongsam... OMFG!!! tio ang bao toto liao la!

karen also not bad la, look like kim ha neul alone is enough to win the competition hands down... but she dun have the accent... and that stupid yunnan restaurant uniform is not cheongsam, its a more traditional type of chinese clothes... sian loh... and she slouches... if you want to look good then must pull ur shoulders back ma... but if she was to do that, i would have been staring at her chest throughout le... =X although she slouches, you can tell her there already quite big le... if stomach in chest out hor, my eyes will pop + lau nua...

see la, it is becos i go to chinese restaurants i dun have the time to go and level up my maplestory... nowadays only like play a hour a day for 2 days a week loh, like that how to level up... last time i party with some guys levelling hor, they all around same level, now one of them is lvl60 liao, the other is lvl51 and ever increasing... me still slow slow at lvl42... lol but never mind la, as long as got china mei mei to see, i dun mind... becos they are loreal products, they are worth it... :D

10:37 PM

can anyone come up with a better name other than the old-fashioned sounding "muscleman"... it sounds very cheesy whenever i heard that word since poly loh... maybe i should stop doing all sorts of excercises, start to learn how to drink beer, learn how to snack, eat all the cup noodles and start to lose hair... then in no time people will start calling me homer simpson... at least homer is cute wat... =D

it has been quite a bad week overall... seems like i always tio all the suay things whenever it comes to my turn to be the IC for my class... the firedrill, the sudden callback to class, receiving message at 3am about doing morning parade... it was quite an eventful week, a surprise that i didnt end up falling sick though... maybe the gers stole all of my possible sickness away from me ba, just this week alone one already go see doctor twice liao... not for real sickness but for obvious reasons la, ever seen sick ppl go shopping, clubbing, meeting up with friends all that shit? inconsiderate if u ask me, ownself sick not enuf must go and spread to others... no difference from those who contacted AIDS not happy must go and give to everyone else... except she isnt sick in the first place la... also duno how she tell the doctor one, so easy to get light or off status just like that... ask a guy go see doctor, the doctor comfirm write report to the course commander about possible malingering liao...

see what girls and their breasts can do... or what another ger refers it to as roti prata... dun ask me why she associates boobs to roti prata... i dun wan to imagine leh, so gross loh, if melons or papayas or any nice fruits still ok la... but roti prata... tsk tsk... crazy girl, but thats the reason why i like her... LOL

its no good to be good, average, or below average... to be noticed, you must either be very capable, or very lousy, if all else fails, you must possess a pair of roti prata on ur chest... sorry, i was influenced by her... in our department, all the big shots know the names of the 2 girls... anyway they always place more interest in the regulars than those serving national service ones... and seriously i think they dun even know that i am a regular at all... one girl is good at what she is doing although she needs a bit of guidance at times... the other is... almost lousy in everything she does... now u get what i mean? they get all the attention while i am just like an invisible person in their department... my mistake? for being normal...

maybe i should start failing my tests, sleep in class blatantly, always going for long breaks, always finding excuses not to go for running... only then will i become the next big thing and starts getting all the attention i deserved... but i wun do that la, it will reflect very badly later on my progress report in years to come for my promotion... the only thing i can do is to top the class for every test that we did and let my results do the talking ba... a good thing some of those serving national service are not regulars, some of them damn smart loh, all can easily steal my rice bowl one... right now i am just concentrating on them becos they really can score very high one... for the regulars, the two gers only one pose a threat, but not that powerful although she too hardworking le... then my other buddy ok ok la, same same with me one, sometimes i better sometime he better... at the end of it all, i just want to be recognized for my efforts i have put in... its not that i am an attention seeker of sorts, but whats the point of working like a slave if ur master dun appreciate what u have done, no meaning right... might as well be a gigolo, earn more money...

different people react differently under difficult circumstances... ever since i entered army, i seen quite a lot of weird behavior... normally nice guy can become very temperamental and starts going berserk... scolding everyone in sight and unhappy with anyone who dun agree with his views... but once its over then he reverts back to his nice guy personality liao... some handle situations like a stroll in the park, machiam like everything they say or do all become gold liao... while some start sinking into depression, falling sick and stressed, wrong make until more wrong, then the right make until wrong also...

for me, i dun react in such extreme results... siao liao siao liao is all i can think in my mind, but thats just about it la... wun fall sick or get agitated that easily... i think i can handle stressful situations quite well as long as u show them the blur blur look, people also duno what to do to u loh... =P now i just try to learn from those who handle such situations like a piece of cake...

and in case u didnt notice, recently any people that i have mentioned hor, i never put down their names one leh... always he he he, her her her... not becos i scared they read or what la, i already know of a few who read my blog while i was like flaming them... lol of cos they never tell me, how i know leh? becos i also read their blogs and never tell them, LOL... anyway the recent people names cannot be mentioned becos of security reasons la, they are the hidden weapons of singapore, once i mentioned liao hor, cfm everyone aim missiles at singapore le... yea, they are that powerful... actually i most powerful la, becos my birth cert is fake de, my name fake de, my body oso fake de, my sex oso fake de... you all duno only, i am the libra who invented the bra with scales... =X

5:25 PM

April 03, 2005 COLOURED.

changed my blog layout out of boredom... actually i have things to do like say study for the test which is still left untouched since yesterday... whatever, just plain lazy... lol

12:36 PM

eh i am supposed to be studying for my test on tuesday but i am still here staring at the monitor doing nothing... its either i am just plain lazy or i am bothered by wat is going on in the past week...

she says i am quiet... not once but twice... when she fall sick never go class also must remind me via her other fren, telling her to get me to talk... frankly its the first time i heard that ppl get irritated becos u are too quiet, i thought its always the other way round... u cant change a person's character overnight la, just becos she's bubbly doesnt mean i have to go from reserved to motormouth or go around mingling with ppl... one is enough, dun need me as competitor right, not to say i very good or what... if i really start the ball rolling, i think i will overtake her... hahahhaha who can beat my crappness cos i am the CRAPNESS...

anyway i am worried by her comments, becos it means she will get frustrated wif me sooner or later and then there goes any chance of winning... not say she will hate me or what but she will just leave me alone and its hard to be in her good books liao... (remember the fren fren tactic) whatever, priority is not about relationship, its my career that i am more concerned about...

u know about the quiet comments, even my new course commander oso said something about it... he told us some ships require frequent sailing while some are those stay home type... he said becos of my reserved nature, it may be hard to get into the frequent sailing ships... he didnt really say that, but i could feel indirectly that he has no confidence in me... personally i take it as an insult, he just doesnt see me as someone who will stand out eh... seriously i think i am on par or even better than the other two, the remaining one is a no fight becos she doesnt have interest in it since she keeps talking about maybe joining other vocation or leaving the navy altogether... i believe my scores from the previous course are better than them, just tt i dun voice out enough...

whatever it is, i will make sure that i will move from 3rd position to 1st position in his eyes... its hard to say which one of us is going to end up in the harbor ship... initially i thought its the guys who will be sailing while the gers just stay home n go shopping... but that ger has got fire, she has determination and is bloody hard working... haven even weekend she already study abit liao... all the questions she asked all i duno one... honestly i dun wish to see any one of us ending up at that harbor ship... she deserves a shot, he is equally worthy... but for my own selfish sake, one of them must go to the harbor ship, i deem it as a total disaster if i ended up there... the only consolation is i have a chance to work with the pretty navigating officer of that ship... which seems almost impossible as her division consists of mainly females... imagine one male junior joining their ranks, they would have been licking their lips with delight... but i feel that she is good enough for long distance sailing... whatever it is, i wan to go to the numero uno Endurance... then i can make my course commander eat his words while i slowly work my way up to chief of radar for Endurance... it will be a slow n hard journey... have patience will travel...

our department duno why like sports so much, other departments not so enthusiatic about it hor, they bring everyone down including instructors n senior instructors to train with us... thanks for giving me abrasions on my thighs again hor... they made us do running and pull ups and crazy swimming... though most are grumbling as expected, i was happy that they are forcing us to run... like that i stand a higher chance of going below ten minutes then maybe hope for a gold...

and something to crap about my course commander again... this time he so happened to see my body after swimming... he was enquiring whether i was into any sports or sorts and i told him the usual... i know whats on his mind, he wants to pull me into rugby... if he had picked me at sembawang the other time, i would have agreed straight away... too bad i am a person who hold grudges, i always remember the times when i was snubbed and left aside... and i always make it a point not to be swayed so easily when they approached me the second time round...

u know the beauty of clothes... u wun know what hides beneath the clothes until someone takes them off... everyone thought i was normal until i start going around topless then they start asking questions liao... i look like any typical person out there, except that the typical person usually have either rib cages so visible kate moss oso no fight or a slight beer belly...just like some plain jane who is often overlooked until she slips onto a nice bikini top which turns heads... then the pretty flower vase oso got beer belly damn paisei to reveal her stomach... go underdogs, surprise them all...

12:53 AM


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