November 30, 2002 COLOURED.

couldn't sleep last night... stayed up thinking about how stupid i am to waste a golden chance... someone offered passes to zouk... i am always very eager just to get a glimpse of her but when the time comes, i had no idea of what to do... whatever it is, today no chance doesn't mean there's no chance forever...

went to school feeling sleepy... was there to download my MoS - Dance Nation Anthems disc 2... and also doing this site... went 1 round of viewing other's blogs... and saw my name being mentioned somewhere... j says she's jealous but actually... it's thanks to her that i decide to revamp my entire blog... and also seeing that blogs are sprouting all over #adm... at least mine must look presentable a bit... only started my blog after some inspiration from my idol anomalic and was about to keep it at that when i saw j's layout... it was brilliant...

perfection = aggression + competition

"i am a nobody. nobody is perfect. moral of story: i am perfect"

recently i have changed... i frowned when someone is better than me... something which i would not have done some time ago... i was a slacker then, as long as i pass my exams, i'm contented... when someone discovers how to do coding, i will admire them, thinking how come they're so clever...

when i swim, i try to swim faster than anyone out there... the sense of achievement is something i savour... it's good to be on top of everyone but there's always a mountain to climb... it's sunny today but i don't swim on weekends... there's too many people for me to swim...

stopover at jurong east on my way home to purchase my train concession... the queue was like the hello kitty sort of queues... aunties and uncles with lots of farecards lining up to claim their refunds... i waited for 45 minutes before it's my turn... went back to yew tee where i queue again... this time for a refund of my farecard... i didn't want to make the crowd behind me wait for a long time...

went to my grandparents house and i became 22!... apparently my grandma mistook me for my another cousin... i had dinner and was struggling to finish it... i was stuffing my mouth with whatever they gave me and i felt like vomiting at that time... was walking around the living room many times to digest the food...

saw takumi's blog and i realised the difference between JC english and poly english... got sick of adding a digital clock to the site and instead got myself a polling thinggy and a site meter... yea.. i added a qoute on the bottom of my page too...

11:55 PM

spent 2 hours trying to get the idiotic digital clock on but the image doesn't load... will be adding blog on midnite...

11:28 AM

got a rude shock when i actually saw Urbanlc in my dream... he was holding a guitar and singing something... reminds me of Fan Yi Chen screaming his lungs out... thankfully my dreams were muted so i don't know what he's screaming at... it appears that the more you think about a person, the lesser chance of seeing him in yor dream... maybe i should think of senzi less, so she can appear and blow bubbles to me...

saw myself in a mirror and i looked like someone fresh out of jail... wore my specs and i look like a complete idiot now... =)

"i'm swimming in the rain, juz swimming in the rain..." my swim was cut short when lightning struck... was left stranded on the 'island' with no food, just water... nah, watch too much Survivor liao... couldn't leave the area until an hour later...

been tinkering on the blog, still trying to add a digital clock inside it... really do hope it works...

12:07 AM

November 28, 2002 COLOURED.

"today better don't go swimming ar"... my mom was telling me this at 7am when i slept at 3:30am last night... couldn't quite make out what was she saying but i roughly got the idea as she pull my shirt back to look at the culprit... she had discovered han(4) ban(1) (sweat marks?, i don't know any english name for it) on the back of my head yesterday and assumed swimming was the cause of it...

woke up around 9++ as i can't seem to sleep at all... got online and start to doodle on my layout again... little improvements but it's the small details that always count... intended to have a fireworks on the page but heck it eat up all of my RAM... i restarted my pc no less than 5 times... no choice but to remove it and try it with other alternatives (snowflakes or other things that don't lag so much)...

was told to produce my IC (yet again) when i went to claim money... why can't they be like Urbanlc who guessed i was 21... went swimming against my mom's wishes... saw the freak guy who can dived 3/4 of the pool... swam side by side with him although it's not a very good idea as he's very fast, nonetheless he didn't managed to overtake me after 20 laps... i was happpy but my legs were struggling after that... by the end of 30, my legs were very dead... all they could offer was a weak kick... must be suffering from the effects of continuous swimming for 3 days straight... wonder if my legs can survive for the whole of december...

took a good look at my tortoise today and notice it's walking with a limp... two of its legs can't walk at all... too fat that's what we all said as she crawled her way slowly around her house... at least she's moving, sometimes she just stop and wait for us to bring her to a quiet place for a rest...

and what i promised earlier... the teacher...

Miss Sarasvethy Anne... now should be a mother of don't-know-how-many-kids liao... she was the first indian teacher to have taught me and she was young at that time, few indian girls look as good as her... she was my form teacher when i was pri 4 where i had the poorest attendances that year as i got chicken pox and i wasn't feeling too good at the start of the semester after just recovering from a operation... she's the first teacher who called me by francis, it felt good considering i'm been called by my chinese name since i started school... my subjects suffered as a result of the 2 weeks MC from chicken pox and streaming was looming... then she rescued me with some fine teaching... that was also the year i started collecting prizes... i was chosen as class representative for a maths quiz with other classes' elite... it was held during assembly, i remembered i got stage fright but i recovered to claim 2nd for my efforts... then i was selected yet again for another maths quiz... this time i beat everyone to a pulp... lol it's fun to be on to of everyone... too bad that year was the first and last year miss anne taught me... she was moving to ang mo kio school afterwards and where's she now, i don't know but all the best to her...

Miss Josephine Tan... she's married after i graduated from pri school... she was my form teacher for pri 5 n 6... she's one of the all-rounder teacher available... she taught my class for a whooping 4 subjects out of 10... so on some days we have her for the whole day... not that i mind, she's young and full of drive... and i haven't thank her for arranging the class's seats during pri 5... she got me to sit beside the school's belle =)... but being a idiot i was... i didn't talk to her at all for the whole year... anyway enough with that belle, it took me very long to forget her and i don't wish to remember what a idiot i am... miss tan treats the class like her own children... she even talk to us to her relationship with her boyfriend, now husband... she forced me to write a journal as my english sucks... and i became the first batch to get out from the journal hell... looking back, the journal was a fun part of remembering your own history, though i didn't have it anymore... i even wrote about someone i like (the belle of cos) and my expectations of my psle results to her... in the end i was chided "shouldn't fall in love so early" "don't be so complacent"... i was angry over her remarks then but she was true about it... my psle results weren't excactly what i expected... and my recorder skills was improving with her teaching us music... performed a few times on stage... i always hate it, being short doesn't help... was forced to stand in front and face the 'ants' off the stage...

and she showed concern once when i returned back to class after recess with a black eye... by the way, i don't eat my pri and sec school recess... i would be on the field, basketball court, classroom playing a fool, anywhere but the canteen... i got that black eye from a soccer game which i was playing as goalie... i'm not known to have good ball handling skills and since the ball was always a tennis ball, i leaked goals whenever i was asked to be a keeper... that day i ran out to retrieve a loose ball when my opponent also chased after it... i bent down to catch it, he lunged at it with his feet... and *BAM* his pretty foot got my face and i was in cloud 9 (not say happy, i was blurred by that) afterwards, he apologised and i was cool with it, we were friends anyway and he didn't did that intentionally... but the blue black stayed on my face for 2 weeks... my parents thought i ki siao or what, so small size then go and pick a fight... miss tan wasn't convinced that it's just a accident and she got everyone who witnessed the incident to get a clear picture... sure enough the victim and assassin were telling the truth but i'm grateful for her concern...

11:29 PM

went for a haircut and i only had a slight tremble during the period which is a major achievement for me as all the previous barbers had nightmares cutting my hair... honestly i didn't expect it to be so short and i look like a monk now... but i'm still fine with it, after all i had chose a skinhead not so long ago...

today's a nice day for swimming, been a long time seeing the water sparkle under the sun... i counted the number of bodies lying around by the poolside... 10 and counting... most of them were white-skinned seeking a golden tan... hope they do get it and buy 1 get 1 free, may skin cancer seek them too...

was surprised to c senzi online in the afternoon... always thought she was a busy person and would be out for some activities... and waited quite long for my friend to reply me... it may sound stupid when i can just give a call to confirm straight away but i'm not good at talking and i get very stressed up having to call people, think it's a phobia...

and for those who wondered why i put the snail part on my status bar... there's lots of snails around my block... and i have seen too many crushed shells around... it's pretty disgusting and gets even worse when you actually get to hear it... my worst experience was watching a posh office girl off to work with her stilettos and 'craCk'... she doesn't seem to realise that she had killed a snail and carried on walking... poor snail... it may be slow but it refuses to give up... it's something which we humans can learn from...

will be adding the teachers that influence my life tomorrow... 'what comes around goes around, it's time to get down' -- Timo Maas

12:01 AM

November 26, 2002 COLOURED.

soli this is a testing post..

11:14 PM

went to watch Ghostship last night with #adm people but i wasn't too eager as the show was freaking brainless and i was trembling throughout the show... aidil was happy that denise sat beside him, as for me... i was thinking of senzi...

project module's finally over... was sweating profusely and can't speak properly while presenting my project to the judges, the thought of senzi made me shifted focus and didn't quite realised my presentation was well over until my friends got a sneak peek at the scorecard and said our group had 4s and 5s out of a max. 5 for each criteria...

i like to thank the following people who has contributed to my successful project: B.T.H.K (bryant|8, toy__, honggy, kagnon) we worked together as a group since our 'award-winning' report writing project last semester...B was the leader and lead by example although for this project, it was me who help his team out with some coding, he more than made up for my contribution with his offer of time expiry code which was the only loophole i haven't solved... T for his excellent error checking code, seems his 3 As weren't a fluke... me for well, all that i have done over the past few days... K for his brilliant startup idea that got me started... then we have to thank my group members although they didn't do a single thing, they sort of woke me up and suddenly i was serious in school work... my sister for putting up with my 'coldness' towards her, she likes to share with me what she encountered at work whenever she's back and i was down there not bothering her and finding out what is wrong with my project... senzi for being in my heart and never ran off which puts my mind on rest... my indian friend for introducing roberto baggio game which was what i really needed to prevent me from going crazy... thanx to SP for having this stupid project during the holidays when the others were beginning to let their hair loose...

and yea.. here are the remarks during my pri and sec school period that i have promised earlier...

pri 1:
Qihong has done well but can do better.

He has done well but can do better.

pri 2:
There is still room for improvement.

Qihong has performed satisfactorily.

pri 3:
Qi Hong has done well but can do better.

He is very keen in his work.

pri 4:
Francis is a consistent worker and has done well this semester. Continue to strive for better results.

Francis is a diligent and responsible student. He has done well this year.

pri 5:
Francis is a quiet boy in nature. He is a consistent worker and an effiecient group leader.

Francis is capable of donig better. He should learn to participate more during class discussions.

pri 6:
Francis, you are a well-behaved and conscientious pupil. You are quite a good write too! Continue to work hard and you will definitely achieve better results.

Francis, you have been a quiet yet consistent woker. Your hard work has paid off as you have improved in your results this semester. Continue to work hard in the future and all the best to you!

sec 1:
Qi Hong has done well. Should more time to Literature.

Qi Hong has done well. Capable of doing better.

sec 2:
Francis has performed well. There is room for improvement.

Francis is a friendly and industrious pupil who has done quite well this year. Continue to work even harder for better grades.

sec 3:
Francis is a competent student. He is prompt in handing up his work. There is a lot of room for improvement.

Francis is a reserved student in class who has produced satisfactory results. He needs to participate more atively in group discussions.

sec 4:
Francis is able to attain better grades if he spends more time on his weaker subjects.

Francis has the potential of getting better results if he spends more time on revising and practising past exam questions.

initially i use to think the remarks made by my form teachers were just for show... but most of them were quite true, the 2 most used remarks "quiet" and "done well but can do better", i can only agree on the quiet part... the "done well but can do better " i don't really understand... do they want their pupils to study until they go crazy?... but whatever it is, i have never taken my studies seriously, so perhaps that explains the "can do better part"... the "done well" i just played it down as 'i was born with it'... that's the only logical reason i can think of that time when they used to ask me how come i only study a day before the test and get so high marks... now i realised it's the homework handed out by teachers that i have always done without fail that has kept me this far...

i'll think i'll write all about my life during the holidays since my holidays will be quite a routine... and i'm too pissed to write anything now as my pc just died on me and this blog is the 2nd version and some stuff i think i have forgotten to add...

10:51 PM

November 25, 2002 COLOURED.

EuReKa got me hopping mad on early Saturday morning (1am)... she got senzi off the channel... i was really worried when she came back in with a 'LOL'... don't know what's up with EuReKa... haven't seen her for quite a while and she was on a high...

i have since replaced senzi's 5 yr old with her current one on my desktop now... seeing it just makes me feel so refreshed... 'rape me, rape me, my friend'... oops was humming to Nirvana's song... listened to the whole album for over the 20th time, trying to make it value for money...

woke up today at 1pm... actually was 9am when i took a piss and fell flat on the bed again and doze off... saw that nobody's at home and my breakfast's on the table... where have they all gone, alien visited my home?... can't be bothered anyway as i ate my brunch (breakfast n lunch combined) and went online seeking for answers... in the end it was i supplying the answers to my classmate =(... thought of helping him since he's the one who gave me a wonderful idea to start the entire website... i had given up on setting a date deadline for my site as no one seems to know how to do it either...

love it when tomorrow's the last day(maybe) for the project... which means i'm finally free from all worries... 'all i know is i don't know'... yet another nice quote from Nirvana... if all is well, i'll start on my holiday timetable... don't intend to get a job, just train and train and train for 30 straight days... i haven't forgotten about a arm wrestling match that i have given my word when school resumes... i like to know how i fare considering i have always lost... never won once as my arms are not large to pose any threat... but it's a win-win situation... train and get a good body, and perhaps beat 1 guy who's 15kg heavier than me... he goes to gym regularly but i don't see any results from him, hence the challenge... david vs goliath, not expected to win but more than happy to put on a brave front... hmm, i'm not even thinking about any activities, outings or celebrations whatever... in fact today's someone's birthday celebration and i didn't went or i just clean forgotten about it...

doodle a bit of senzi's photo using photoshop enhancing its appearance although i regretted trimming the canvas size and i forgot to save it under a different name... the only thing i still have is the wallpaper =(...

there's a charity show on tv... it's water-themed and it's a wonderfully bad idea... started raining as soon as it starts and most of the stunts can't be executed for safety reasons... so sad considering it's the first show ever done outside the studios, let it be a lesson learnt for them... jay zhou performed 2 songs and my mom commented that 'bu hao ting, bu hao kan, hai you ren lai zi chi ta de meh?'... was quite impressed with wong qinghai and allan wu's bods...

oh yea, last night i saw fireworks from my house... malaysia was having fireworks around 10:45pm last night... i can even hear the booming sounds, it lasted til 11pm... wish senzi was there with me...

was playing with my sister's jumping beans... they responded very well to Nirvana... jumping around madly whenever i played them... they don't eat any food, just a little mist of water once in a while is sufficient for them to survive...

my mom took my 2 nieces out for some Harry Potter... troublesome kids who like to make a din at my house... yeah i have 2 relatives living near us... my niece once commented 'why ah hong kor kor everytime so quiet 1'... the best way to answer is to always ignore her and do my own things...

was feeling nostalgic while watching Il Mare and flip through my academic records and saw my report books from pri sch and sec sch... found out some interesting stats and some comments from my form teachers over the years... browsing through the names of the teachers that have taught me made me think about the past... there were teachers that i personally liked to thank for transforming me and some teachers i despised for well, some reasons... will be talking all about my primary and seconday school teachers once my project module is done... most probably be posting it on monday or tuesday...

Il Mare was a nice movie... reminded me of Love Letter... these 2 have so much in common yet so different in concept... whatever it is, these 2 reminded me of senzi, very interesting~...

12:15 AM

November 23, 2002 COLOURED.

well.. for those people wondering why the hell am i still awake at 4am plus today... it's just that i need a break from school, i need to get away from stress, get away from my irritating indian member, get away from my whole group, even that MUD playing guy has begun a cold war with me... which suits me just fine as i don't talk much either... okie okie for those who still don't understand what i'm talking about... I SKIPPED SCHOOL...

that doesn't make me a bad guy though... it was well-thoguht carefully, i pondered about it for the whole afternoon yeserday when my classmates suggested that... it kinda make sense as i can't do my critical thinking at school... as least my brain functions better at home with senzi on the desktop =)...

but i'm not a irresponsible leader by leacing my group memebers behind... actually i did tell 1 of them and he said fine as i have a perfect attendance for this module and i deserved a break... woke up at 11:30 am and the first thing i wondered about is the project... i got this 1 damn good idea which i like to implement but i can't find the answer to it... i have done my own research on other groups' work, if my idea can work, their work can't be compare to mine... spent about 1 hour testing out, trial and error when i started to get better and then I GOT IT!!!

i was initially stunned when the results came out after seeing so many Error messages... my heart starts to pound faster and i tried it on my website and it works again... i'm feeling on a high now, got a inkling that the lecturers will be impressed by my work... what's left now is a expiry date and some minor error checking... started to relax abit now that the important part is done...

been listening to Jiang Mei Qi - Dui Ni Er Yan for the 15th time today... thought of going irc last night but decided against it as i had said i would only be back on friday... the next best thing would be to send a card to her, that's the least i could do...

came back from my swimming feeling giddy... didn't complete my 50 much to my disgust... bought Nirvana's album finally, Where Did You Sleep Last Night rox... carried on doing my website and it seems by the end of Saturday almost all would be completed =)... quite ahead of schedule which is why i'm so relaxed now...

homepage done.. selection page done... database done... sqlselect sqlupdate sqlinsert all done... table displayed done... feedback form complete... error checking for selection not done... that is the only major obstacle left... other than that i need some button animations to enhance the site... oops totally 4got about the expiry thing... gotta do some research tonight...

and here is what i have gone through over the past 2 days which i didn't post...

tuesday... nope it's wednesday morning... finally saw senzi on irc again... just a glimpse of a * senzi ( has joined #anomalique will make me sit up and energized... then sadlem gave us internet radio connection to listen to... quite alright since i don't really like internet radio with my lousy connection... then i heard that lem made a dedication to senzi... started to frown and was seeing red soon when she said 'so sweet'... that moment i thought of pushing my power button on my pc so i don't have to see this... actually didnt understand why i'm bhaving like this... i treat her like she's my real gf when we haven't even met once... was going off when she told me to wait fro her dedication... and soon enough a dedication was made but heck.. my winamp was doing prebuffering.. by the time i got the connection back, i heard the song already... Jiang Mei Qi... not a bad singer, just that she was not marketed properly...

wednesday was bullshit... had nothing to do, can't think properly... was thinking about the dedication, that was the first time someone dedicated a song to me... managed to download Dui Ni Er Yan from kazaalite and too tired to do anything on wednesday...

forgot all about the posting of results on the internet during midnight... reached school on thursday and only rememebered about it when my classmate told me... our class all had passed save for one who had to take a sup. paper for maths and may have to repeat a module... he's currently appealing and i hope his appeal is successful... sometimes i find it amazing, our class is perhaps the best class in the course, we don't have any repeat students, any sup papers (except for the poor guy), even those who had poor attendances were promoted to the next stage... was quite relieved that i passed all my subjects considering that i did very badly for my semestrals... someone even said i had a distinction... i would be laughing my head off if it's really true... went home and took a look at my body... quite impressive as i have't been doing any exercise for a week... my shoulder blades are really quite unbelievable... they're popping out like some wings or what... too bad they can't be seen when i'm wearing clothes... guess my shoulders can last senzi for a whole lifetime... my sister is quite observant... she knows what type of girls i like... she knows i'm not interested in nicole kidman or j lo and that i like cameron diaz...

12:20 AM

November 22, 2002 COLOURED.

my posts will be up on friday night...oops it's tonight lol... anyway been too busy with the 4-man work where i'm having a busy time trying to sort things out....

3:32 AM

November 20, 2002 COLOURED.

initially thought today would be a relaxing day when my lecturer said we can start on the final part for our project... started brainstorming ideas for layout of the brand new website and my members are getting to work... save for 1 who's still playing MUD...

found quite a lot of javascripts that might be useful to implement in the design stages... i was stealing codes from all over the place... went home feeling tired.. after my dinner, started on my website... the more i do the more i'm focused... then most of it is done.. what's done is just some minor stuff... hmm miss senzi so much that i name my site after her =)...

One Step - Coal Chamber

Never again
All my life it's been much the same game
Altogether now who pass the blame game
I'm not the one so don't put your shame on
You're not the one that I put the blame on

There is nothing I would rather do then
Get up and explain life to you friend
There is nothing I would rather do then
Get up and explain life to you

One step forward
Two steps back
Three steps forward, Go

People want to come and take from me everything
People want to come and leave me with nothing
I'm not the one so don't put your shame on
You're not the one that I put the blame on

There is nothing I would rather do then
Get up and explain life to you friend
There is nothing I would rather do then
Get the fuck up and explain life to you

Why do you hide
So afraid of what you'll leave behind

Who put the blame on
Who put the blame on
Who put the blame on
It wasn't my fault

12:12 AM

November 18, 2002 COLOURED.

went to school feeling sleepy as usual... seeing my group members just make me sick... the indian just can't stop crapping... keep calling: honggy honggy why you so quiet, come la we go 1 place and fuck... was not in the mood to talk to him when i was finding some stuff for my website... well, my 3 other members have no idea what the teacher will be assessing for this part, as i might have expected... at least 1 openly admitted that he felt paisei about it... in fact i think all 3 members have said it... but he's the only 1 sincere enough... the other two just continue playing their idiotic games...

it seems that i no longer dread going to school...having the edge over the others does help a significant bit... most of my own class approach me for coding help... but i can't be bothered remembering which code was for which execution... just cut and paste from helpful websites... won't be doing the final assessment until Wednesday which means i have 1 more day of relaxation... the final assessment i think will pose the biggest obstacle... hope to get help from my classmates from that 1...

went to my mother's when i nearly bumped into a bride's chest... a 6 foot giant and i was like 'wah lan'... the groom quite handsome though... perhaps better looking couples only appear on holidays... counting down to the end of project: 5 or 6 school days... depending on how fast we can complete, i think 6 days is a more realistic target... time passed fast... 6 more days to a full month of knowing senzi... below is a song by Xie Ting Feng... not many like him, saying he's arrogant and all that, but i like his songs and that's all that matter... can't wait for system of a down's new album!

Xiang Shui - Xie Ting Feng

feng chui ze lian
yu bu de wo ju jue
ni shi cong bu ting dun de yi ge shun jian
shi jie zai da
ye zhi yao qiu yi dian
wo zai hao bu guo ni yi ge zi jian
ni ai zai nong lie ye shi tiao pao wu xian
ni zai jie jing
zhi bu guo gu fu wo de gan jue
wo zao yi xi guan
ni de ming pai xiang shui wei
ni de nuo yan
sian jian de piao tang zai wo er bian
wo zao yi xi guan
ni de mi ren xiang shui wei
zi shi qin yi
shui ze mai mai shan qu
jian jian xiao shi bu jian
ne de qi wei
luo neng can liu yi dian
wo neng duo shao ji zhu tian mi de gan jue
ni de qi wei
nuo da ze wo de lian
zhi shao hai neng cai che xing fu you duo yuan

11:15 PM

November 17, 2002 COLOURED.

went my whole day, well almost, doing my website... quite frustrating at first when things don't go my way... then common sense kicks in and saves the day... now almost all that is required for the third assessment are done except for a minor problem... anyway i felt that i'm way ahead of schedule and rewarded myself with looking at lil senzi and playing CM...

hmm... thought today the results for my exams would be published when i realised it's out only on 21st Nov... hope nothing goes wrong...

The Man Who Sold The World - Nirvana

We passed upon the stair, we spoke of was and when
Although I wasn't there, he said I was his friend
Which came as some surprise I spoke into his eyes
I thought you died alone, a long long time ago

Oh no, not me
I never lost control
You're face to face
With The Man Who Sold The World

I laughed and shook his hand, and made my way back home
I searched for form and land, for years and years I roamed
I gazed a gazley stare at all the millions here
We must have died along, a long long time ago

Who knows? not me
We never lost control
You're face to face
With the Man who Sold the World

11:35 PM

woke up late... spend my afternoon toying around with ASP... i wonder what are my group members doing this weekend, most probably out somewhere playing... the only plus point of doing things myself is i managed to improve my programming, something which i used to rely on my classmates for the coding...

went to borders decked in my jay chou attire, or should i say honggy attire... why should i follow him, he should follow me, next time i'll suggest him getting earrings...thought of having lunch but decided against it since my stomach wasn't feeling anything...

computer section~, managed to get 2 books that are supposed to be useful for my project... head of to magazine section for a copy of Q and out of boredom, grab FHM...

spent most of my time reading the 2 computer books, quite interesting except that i've forgotten most of the coding that i'm supposed to use for my website... found out some interesting websites that FHM recommended but my memory failed me again... RadioHead is the greatest band in the world today, Q claimed... i don't know about that, heard only a few of their songs and of not much influence to me... jay-z & ashanti, heard of their names regularly but not interested in them... only eminem's raps caught my eye... it seems anyone can be a rapper, just spit profanities out loudly and viola!, a new rap nigga staR... some albums that i need to download are Ash and Feeder... today i'm forgetful, some more albums i can't remember, i think they are some 'best of' albums...

on my way home from mrt i saw something... small boy and small girl playing... then started a tug of war over a straw... the tugging turns violent... mother had enough and grabbed the straw... small girl wants it back, mother refused to give in... small girl starts to cry, small boy minds his own business... small girl cries gets louder, drawing attention from commuters... mother is fed up and hit small girl... small girl cried louder and commuters are beginning to think child abuse and look at mother with unpleasant looks... small boy keeps quiet and mother lets small ger cry until she's bored... i hate kids, what's the big fuss over a straw... i would have taken that girl and swung her around like a WWE superstar and thrown her from 50 feet, that would have shut her up...

reached home and my relatives were visiting... discussing about the prices of flower horn fishes... all these fishes are overvalued in my opinion... the prices are all manipulated by crazy fish traders... one day i won't be surprised if guppies cost $50 each... thought about the Orchard lights, quite a sight... i want to go counting with her... was listening to Tao Ze's Gong Bao Ji Ding and quite loved the rap part when i realised it's about love-making... that's me, listening to songs without regards to lyrics...

Angel (Tao Ze)

[jing zi zhong
kan jian yi zhang mo sheng de lian
na yan sheng ru chi de an dan
siao yi siao
zhi qian dong ku se de chui jiao
wo de ji mo shui zi dao
xiang tiao chuan zai hai shang piao
bei dou xing ye kan du dao
shui neng gou yang qi le fan
yuan yuan li kai ze hei chao
angel angel
pan wang ni zai wo sheng bian
angel angel
qing ni jin jin zhua zhu wo de shou
you shi hou
wo xiang bu hui you ren liao jie
xin li mian chang ze de tong
wo hai pa
yong zeng xin mian dui ze shi jie
zi hao yue lai yue cheng mo
yi ge ren zai ren hai piao
shuo hua de ren zao bu dao
shui gei wo wen rou yong bao
dang wo gan jue xing quai yao shui le
angel angel
pan wang ni zai wo sheng bian
angel angel
shi fou ting jian wo zai hu huan ni
neng bu neng gao shu pi bei de wo
ni yong yuan wei wo shou hou
angel angel
qing ni liu zai wo de sheng bian
angel angel
qing ni bu yao fang kai wo de shou]

12:41 AM

November 16, 2002 COLOURED.

made my way to school only to find myself and the other students waiting outside the lecture theatre... those freaking lecturers must have drunk too much last night... it seems that things are getting harder and harder, SQL, ASP, ADO... all these make me sick...

as usual, the lecture ended early and i went to free access to download songs... not a bad day considering i managed to download 3 CDs worth of music! (might be 4 if not for some poor handling by my friend)...

during class, i took a look around and i almost fainted... all were bloody playing games... i thought to myself 'all groups have given up huh'... so i sat by my computer staring at space, reading up how to incorporate dynamic pages into my website... can't really concentrate as my crapping group member told me about his visit to Geylang... didn't know it cost $70 for 1, quite ex in my view... he also said about his first impression of me about being a gangster... most aunties looked at me like that, thought i was some nobody who go around looking for trouble... then sano sneaked to my class and said senzi sent regards, that brought me smiling... wondered how's she yesterday...

went to bridal shop to look for my mother after school (working as seamstress)... the rest of my classmates were going to watch Harry Potter... as i was about to leave the shop, i saw a bride wearing pink preparing for her photoshoot... my jaws dropped, eyes were fixed on her... it's the first time i ever seen such a beautiful bride in my life... took the MRT spending the whole time wondering what senzi would look like wearing a bridal dress... would be a magnificent sight i suppose...

Midnight (Red Hot Chili Peppers)

[Things will never be the same
Still I'm awfully glad I came
Resonating in the shape of things to come
Never waiting when I know there's only one]

[Messed it up but rest assured
No one ever thinks they're cured
Just a minute while I reinvent myself
Make it up and then I take it off the shelf]

[Over the laws of light
Over the moon by midnight
Let's do it all this time
Everyone wishing well we go

[Everyone knows anything goes
We are the lotus kids
Better take note of this
For the story]

[The rising moon is on the shine
The blood of scorpios a nine
Like the fear that's in the eyes of every doe
Say it now cause John and Jane would like to know]

[Is it safe inside your head
Songs to serenade the dead
All along I said I know no enemies
Mix it up until there are no pedigrees]

[Enter the rolling tide
Over the ocean so wide
Let's do it all this time
Everyone wishing well we go]

got no idea what kept me writing recently... maybe it's got to do with having a dedicated reader :p

12:21 AM

November 14, 2002 COLOURED.

woke up late for the first time since my project work~... today is good... considering that the lecturers are too busy with their retreat to give lessons that resulted in a day off...

went online first thing i woke up (12noon) to spot any signs of senzi... unfortunately no... told my friend how much he won yesterday from the matches... he's just so lucky, on the verge of having his profits wiped out... then he managed to scrap his way back... he didn't went to gym today which was a surprise... anyway i can't be bothered with going to gym workouts... swimming is just as effective (in my point of view)... don't know what's the fuss all about me swimming (50 laps!?!? sure or not, bluff me is it, swim the side only right, if you can swim 50 then i can swim 100).. so many excuses, so little time.

reached the pool and the skies began to rain dogs all over... i like dogs but i don't need that much, i prefer money though... seek a shelter wondering when the rain will go away... luckily it's over in 10 minutes... began my now usual routine of applying sunblock all over (still can't reach my back =( ) thanks to senzi, otherwise i'll be leaving the pool with killing headaches...

initially having problems gaining my momentum... then someone swam side by side with me... at least i could gauge how fast i was swimming... credits to the guy, he's unbelievable! freestyle non-stop for 30 laps... been a long time since i saw someone who does it so fast... after my swimming, i would observe people... all were seeking death, lying on the side of the pool suntanning and i was dipping myself in the water, purifying myself with the chlorine (my sins are cleansed!)...

went to find my mother to carry things for her, used to her bosses' praises of 'guai le ni de er zi', 'hen siao shun'... i can never get tired of them =)

thought about boon's suggestion of KTV... honestly i had no idea, singing is not my forte and i'm shy... unless the people going are those i'm familiar with then i can trash the whole room upside down... tink i try my singing here =)

Blame (KoRn)

[So I think you are a fool
Hanging on my every word
It's getting ugly
So I'm ugly]

[Tear me from your heart
Tearing me apart]

[So I thought you disappeared
Being alone is what you fear
Are you lonely?
Yes lonely]

[Tear me from your heart
Tearing me apart]

[Rolling, and throwing, consoling
Everything that goes this far
Joking and hoping, revolting
All that shit that's who you are
Hoping, and scolding, revolving
Peel it back, reveal the scar
Loathing, exploding, controlling
This is what you really are]

[The time is coming
God is saying
You're really happy
You've won the game
The time is coming
A bed of flames
Your life is over and you're to blame
The time is coming
You've gone insane
You're feeling happy
You've won the game
The time is coming
A bed of flames
Your life is over and you're to blame]

[Rolling, and throwing, consoling
Everything that goes this far
Joking and hoping, revolting
All that shit that's who you are
Hoping, and scolding, revolving
Peel it back, reveal the scar
Loathing, exploding, controlling
This is what you really are]

no idea why i love songs that are filled with hatred... i don't follow the lyrics honestly, mostly got to do with the music... i love band sounds... so stop saying that i'm a violent person by nature!

6:15 PM

November 13, 2002 COLOURED.

shit can't be more shitter than shit... today's the 2nd assessment of our work... required to set up web server... set up ftp server... set a domain controller for 4 users... write-up on how things are supposed to be done..

i spent the whole day figuring how to go about doing the write-up.. managed to get some nice shots of the application using a nice program which ronny(2B07) introduced to me. web server and ftp server i leave it to my group members to do it... as for domain controller, only 1 guy from my group knows how to do it and he wasn't sure whether that was the correct procedure...

in the end... the domain controller failed to function and as shit starts to get worse.... Windows 2000 is missing 1 file required for start-up~.... and then we came crashing down to the ground... crest fallen... having to reinstall Windows 2000 Advanced Server again (45 minutes)... watched the whole freaking class size of 40 reduced to 10... (those who have completed the task are allowed a early break)... felt sorry for my friend who was waiting for me to use free access labs to download some music... but well i help him he help me, the write-up was a double effort by both of us (different groups)... don't know if it's considered cheating but the rest don't seem to care at all...

11:35 PM

rite now juz counting down the days to the end of my project... 26 Nov is the date where i can finally release my fury...

this project is wrong from the start... having to form a group with other classes meant that miscommunication all around... and if it's not enough, i was appointed the leader for the group... so far 6 days have went and i'm already half dead... the only thing that kept me going was the thought of senzi.. yes.... she's always on my mind at night... can't sleep because of her... i dunno if that is considered love when we haven't even met... and it was such a short time that we get to know each other.. i dunno... sometimes i try not to think about it but it's always there.. like a shadow...

first phase of the project is done... finally can heave a sigh of relief.. yesterday was the evaluation for my group's website (or should i say MINE website)... was trembling while presenting to the panel of judges... forgotten what came out from my mouth but whatever it is.. my friends managed to take a sneak peek of the scores and it was well... passable to say the least...

being the leader no doubt gives me a lot of stress... i felt i've changed... suddenly i'm listening to the lectures as i was afraid of my group members incompetence... 1 was talking crap to me all the time... the other goes: paiseh leh, so sorry that i didnt do anything... and then he went to play MUD... was quite fortunate to have 1 guy who did what i instructed and i was quite impressed by his work... not professionally done but hardworking... perhaps this course is the only course so far that i have really focused my mind on after my 1 1/2 years of study. =)

my talking crap group member introduced me a Freekick Game by Roberto Baggio.. well, though i was unhappy with my teammates progress... i was addicted with the game.. now my class is having a mini-tournament over who can score goals the fastest. =p

i think i made senzi angry today... i dunno... i dun understand people minds... maybe that's why i have few friends or anti-social is the word.

12:25 AM


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