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December 30, 2009 COLOURED.


as 2009 draws to a close. i just wan it to end asap.

it has been a year of many ups and few downs for me. i have achieved so many things that i wanted in life this year yet all the feats can never make up for the loss of someone so important to my life. if i could turn back time, i will gladly give up all the achievements and accolades just to make amends.

immersing myself to gaming heavily, ended up in one of the top guilds yet it couldnt fill the void in my heart.

ironically i read an article about the after effects of relationships that dun work out.

though they may remain as friends, either party will definitely still harbor thoughts of getting back together. while one may introduce another person to know him/her better, end up they may get together, the ex will still be seething with anger for them getting together even though he/she is the one to introduce a new person to.

i find this point very true... seeing her with her new bf just makes me angry initially but theres nothing much i can do right. as much as i wan her to be back with me i wouldnt be so fucked up like him to do such a thing.

now log on facebook everytime see the picture i dun have the lunatic mind to go smash my monitor or go berserk anymore, just resigned to fate.

the article got me thinking... i guess it applies to everyone, and everyone has went through it before. this feeling of remaining as friends while pinning hopes of getting back together is unhealthy. how long do u have to wait for it to happen. days, months, years... perhaps never at all.

wait however long u like, u may miss other opportunities along the way. but so far no one has ever stood out from the rest of the crowd.


how much pain can one heart take?
and well i wish that you were closer so i could love over n over again

11:58 AM

December 24, 2009 COLOURED.


You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining

Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts

its been a long while, but im still healing. maybe i have alr recovered, just that i long for some companionship that can last.

now clearing so backlog of movies i always wanted to watch but didnt cos no one to watch with anymore. watching drag me to hell on xmas eve is so lol. just dun watch it with a full stomach cos i have to pause halfway to lao sai....

11:15 PM

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