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C O L O U R S
June 30, 2004 COLOURED.




Now Playing: 王菲 - MV

nice song written by her ex...

9:55 PM



Barking Dogs Never Bite

i only realised what the film title meant after i checked out the movie reviews... about this loser guy who is easily irritated by the sound of barking dogs and he tried to silence them (kill them), lucky he still got conscience... maybe he hates dogs because he is like a dog, his wife's words is always final and he is always being pushed around... he could be a professor but he would have to bribe the dean and be a dog just to please him...

noticed i never write anything about the ger? becos i duno wat to write about her except that she has big eyes...

90.1GB remaining...


8:26 PM

June 29, 2004 COLOURED.


EXCLUSIVE REPORTING by honggy



this is wat happens for screwing ppl up...
a nice blackout for singapore... whee~
u see that spot of light in the pic?
sorry, that wasnt from singapore...
why would someone shut down all the lights...
and leave 1 small small light down there...
to be a lighthouse izzit, to protect that place...
actually that light was somewhere in malaysia...
yea, malaysia, i can see malaysia from my house...
i can even see the sea view from here too...
will take more pictures when i am bo liao...

houses that have sea views usually can sell for alot rite...
anyway something is fishy over here...
this is the 2nd time it has happened liao...
throughout the years i never seen a blackout before loh...
maybe just once at my old flat, but tt was just our flat alone...

weird thing this really is...
right across the field no lights...
yet my flat down here got lights...
as if it was telling me to write some exclusive...
u know, leaving witnesses around to spot the crime...
my mother was happy that there were no lights...
she wished every night like that, then can slp in peace...
really, the lights out there are an eyesore...
and the factories nd the lights becos they work 24/7...



while i was typing, the lights came back...
i took this in the exact same position...
so sian, the lights so fast come back...
but a relief for most la...
but those who forget to save their work...
can cry until tomorrow oso no nd slp...
those companies got servers one better pray they got UPS...

10:45 PM



Crazy First Love

nothing much to say here really, korean romantic comedies are meant to be like this and like that... always touching moments here and there and some funny things... a nice scene would be son ye-jin in a bikini trying to get the guy to kiss her... cant wait to move onto horror and scandalous movies once i can watch them all alone... watching too many romantic comedies is making me tear so easily nowadays leh...

90.8GB remaining...


10:25 PM



Collage of Our Life

if u are into ryoko hirosue, photography and unique cameras angles, this film is for you, quite nicely done to be honest, nice background, cool pictures and u may even mistaken this film as a ryoko hirosue's picture book... everything about it is beautiful, but amelie is still the movie for me :D

need to do this on a more regular basis...
too many movies taking up space...
91.5GB left of movies to clear...

ps: forget about asking me to send u watever movie i post here... becos i would have deleted it already by then... if i have a cdrw writer, i would have burn them to cds... that is IF, i dun have a cdrw writer, and i dun intend to get one for now :D...


1:32 AM

June 28, 2004 COLOURED.



Too Beautiful to Lie

anyone who watched this movie will know how devious women really can be, thats becos men drink too much naive water liao... anyway lying is an art, not everyone can do it easily

glad that i am watching my movies now...
which means i can clear my hard disk space liao...


6:38 PM


honggy's law of averages state that...

if u are fat, u wan to go thin...
if u are thin, u wan to go fat...

if u are rich, u wish u are poor...
if u are poor, u wish u are rich...

when u are lonely, u want a companion...
when u have ur companion, u wan to be left alone...

when u are bored, u wan to do things...
when there are too many things, u wish u were bored...

u wish u were dead while u r alive...
u wish u were alive while u r dead...

if u are ugly, u wish to be more pretty or yandao...
if u are too prettyor yandao, u wish to be a bit ugly...
(fact: my fren got sick of gers calling him)

if u have excessive body hair, u wish u have none...
if u are like white tiger, u wish to be like gorilla...
(note: strictly onli for guys, cant imagine gers having chest hair!)

if u have gigantic boobs, u wish u were airplane strip...
if u have none, u wish u are that damn big...

if u have needle dick, u wish u were elephant trunk...
if u have a very big one, u wish to reduce the size...

if u were famous, u wish for more privacy...
if u have privacy, u wish paparazzi visits u...

conclusion: everyone aspires to be normal

u know we are all trying so hard for our goals...
and our goal is actually to be normal...
how hard can it be to be normal, quite hard...
becos everyone is special in some way or another...

"honggyism at its best" - hong

4:00 PM




they say if u hear the bouncing of marbles...
and footsteps running around late at night...
u know a toyol is in the vicinity...
my sister told me about it becos she has heard it...

i too have heard the marbles bouncing up n down...
and that damn footsteps like who run like bigfoot...

how nice it would be for me to meet the kid living upstairs...
and greeting him hi toyol, hope ur owner dun feed u tonite...
so that u can go n kill ur own parents out of rage...

and next time u visit the toilet late at night...
expect to hear some noises, moans, groans...
but do not be afraid, do not scream out of fear...
becos ur parents will make u scream out of pain afterwards...
noises u hear are likely eerie and scary...
but ever heard of ghosts singing???
they dun realli sing, they screech, but they're humans...
all practising to get into singapore idol...
the sewage is all interlinked okay...

ppl invent locks in the first place for security...
so u lock ur house, no one can come in right...
not exactly if u are living in those old flats...
those which still have the rubbish chute at their house...
instead of the standard outside the staircase there...
u see, u can spend a bomb beefing up security...
when all it takes is someone to climb from the chute...
u may think its so dirty, no one dare to go climb...
but they are here for the money, who cares abt cleaniness...
and it is quite easy to climb loh, almost like its made for climbing...
but the bad thing is becareful of wat ppl are throwing...
if ppl considerate, they will tie up the plastic bag...
if not, they just throw like tt the things inside all fly out...
worst is if they throw glass bottles down the chute...
thats why its best to work at night, where few ppl are clearing rubbish...
and hope the hdb ppl not so free to do fumigation...

until then, try it out and tell me abt the results...

"i know u cant play me" - hong

1:20 AM

June 27, 2004 COLOURED.




Windstruck

after watching this film, i have realised something...
i rather watched an original foreign film with no subs...
than having to go through 2 hours of some weird dubbing...
it sounds so strange and it realli spoils everything...

but u cant expect anything much from new releases...
if u wanna wait, there is always the nice dvd version...
or hope that korean films are not shown in cheena countries...
then like that they will include english subs...

10:35 PM


the most stylo milo anime i have ever seen so far...
samurais + hip hop = samurai champloo...

click on image to enlarge each picture...
























5:36 PM




perhaps the longest running anime, one piece...
currently released at episode 101...
the tv show until 200 or 300+ liao...
quite unique la, making pirates as heroes...
instead of the usual villians...


VIVI-SAMA~~~


Carue & young Vivi~~

1:13 AM

June 26, 2004 COLOURED.



Now Playing : Namie Amuro & Verbal - Lovin' It

be glad what u have right now...


11:37 PM


what will u do if u are born abnormal...
u know, those ppl who are different from others...
defects, missing leg, missing arm...
spastic, blind, deaf, mute, hole in heart...

will u still have wat it takes to live...
knowing that u are different from the rest...
and always thinking y cant normal ppl love themselves more...
becos u urself is yearning so much to be normal just like the rest...

or will u wish that u weren't born in the first place...
then complain about why the world is so unfair...
if maybe u lost something after u were born...
u would have accepted it, at least u have experienced it b4...
but if u come to this world deprived of something...
who can u blame, ur parents ar, or lousy sperms n egg...
if u believe in karma then u blame ur previous life ar...

the way we see life is different for each of us...

now swap ur roles to the pregnant wife or husband...
depending whether u're a guy or a girl...
if u are les or gay, then it doesnt apply to u...
would u abort ur child or would u bring it up...

difficult decision for any parent rite...

for me, i choose to give up...
yaya, say me cold blooded murderer...
call me the selfish one...

but u seriously think u can handle it or not...
it takes a lot out of someone to care for an abnormal person for life loh...
u need motivation, determination and perseverance to make it thru...
and that to me sounds like superman, not some ordinary person...
not only that, there are other factors too...
how do u think he will feel...
being made fun of, being stared at...
its really hard to make him accept wat he is...
so that he can be more optimistic in life...

that is just my humble opinion...
not everyone will agree wif me...
u can be kindhearted, but show it in action instead of words to me...

"damnation" - hong

5:44 PM

June 25, 2004 COLOURED.


the 1 big problem which singaporeans who watch soccer...
is that they think england is the best of the best...
this is wat happen when they show too much premier league...
watch serie a or la liga n u know premier league is so amatuer...
dun weep just becos they got knocked out of the quarter finals...
if u weep, its onli becos u ppl wun get to c becks animore...

i dun believe that so many ppl rest their hopes on beckham loh...
why would u rely on someone who has a sissy voice...
who has a sissy way of playing and who doesnt even know how to dribble...
read: falling down dramatically to the ground when someone just touch him...
would u call someone a captain who likes to whine n moan so much?
and to hide his sissyness, he tries to act macho...
getting tattoos here and there just as a decoy...
and i dun understand y gers go gaga over him...
he has this realli bloody high sissy pitch...
i think if u dun show the faces of ppl speaking...
they will think victoria is a guy...
and beckham is victoria...
below are highlights of the match...


u see u see, even the cameras oso favor beckham...
he trying to do an imitation of the rock people's elbow...
and figo is applauding his imitation rather sarcastically...


owen scores... i have no idea about this...
i was sleeping and i didnt wake up...
my father shook me up to watch the start of 2nd half...
and u see u see, beckham never do anything go there...
wan to hog the limelight let camera take his picture...
thats all he does on the pitch realli...
running ard let camera take pictures...
and doing nothing basically to help his team...


postiga scores... i saw it coming...
england are too laoya to win loh...


rui costa scores in extra time...
oh my god, he realli looks like a siao monkey...
monkeys, someone say got ppl say someone like monkey...
i hope its not this type of monkeys... LOL

[place lampard pic here]

frank lampard equalise quite soon after...
but there was no picture surprisingly...
maybe becos beckham too tired liao...
no eneergy to run to the cameras...
the cameraman c no beckham then dun wan take picture...


ricardo saves, ricardo scores, ricardo wins the match...
flamboyance is the key to portugal's success...
even the keeper oso so xia lan...
so short still can save penalty...
keeper still pack such a powerful shot...
ppl may say hao lian la...
but u need the hao lianess in u to go far sometimes...

wat u didnt get to see is beck's penalty miss...
u mean cameras onli take pics when he score?
never score then dun shoot him ar...
wan to make gd reputation of him izit...

so there u go, many singaporeans will be down...
becos their beloved england have lost...
stubborn. when will they ever wake up...


i guess i am oso one of the stubborn ones...
still cant believe italy so fast oraedi out liao...
i was staring at disbelief just like buffon did...
they have all the quality players to win it...
but they simply whine too much liao la...
i need to get back to sleep...
slp 2 hours onli, later still have to go gym...

"cute monkey???" - hong

6:58 AM




i have found out the source of the tightness...
u r wrong if u think the pic is some elephant leg...
but it kinda resembles something although i duno wat it is...

u see, the picture shows my lovely right leg...
completely hairless, so smooth, so hua...
actually i shaved it off la, i was born hairy...
shaved it off just to get a better view of the problem...
its hard to sieve thu the forest to locate the pain loh...

anyway if u still duno why is it a leg...
c tt big thing on the veri top which is partially shot...
tt is my kneecap, not my butt okie...
see the right hand side gto a bit of shape...
that is not the breast, becos u wun find a nipple on it...
that is the calf muscle from a side view...
the whole picture is not taken from the front la...
if taken from the front, i would so happy loh...
imagine having calf muscles tt big...
can win any sprints in the olympics loh...

then u c tt something in the center right...
that is the place where i feel tight...
i tried testing on my left leg but its isnt so big...
at first i thought i got a vein that is abt to explode...
like those ppl heart attack that pattern...
except that mine is leg attack...
but i cannot find any big veins, all look normal to me...
we'll see how it goes, if it tears, then let it tear...

i wonder will hear the sound of tearing off or not...

"sleepyhead" - hong

6:05 AM

June 24, 2004 COLOURED.




i know i have to write this now...
and not tml morning when i wake up...
becos i know i will 4get abt it...
and i have forgotten about it...
this is the forgotten post...
which is supposed to appear a few weeks ago...

anyway right now, my right knee's a bit loose...
it has been like tt since last friday...
but it was only for a while then...
i felt it every now and then currently...
think i stress the knee too much...
end up a bit the cranky...
then somewhere between the middle of the calf...
duno y feel so tight whenever im walking...
loose and tight, think wat, yin n yang ar...
trying to fuse to make a perfect combo...

but i still went running today...
focus more on the tiredness...
naturally u wun feel the pain on the leg animore...
and today more tiring than b4...
that day i see the navy show...
duno whether it is real or not leh...
naval diving unit 2.4km must run under 9:15...
i thought under 10 minutes is already quite gd liao...
for my record, i onli managed a 11:55 for my recent test...
n i have never gone under 11 minutes loh...
to go below 9:15 is like so crazy like tt...
each round must finish in 1:32 continuously...
with 3 seconds to spare for the entire run...
1:32 every lap is near impossible to maintain leh...
to me it means running n not jogging throughout...
running continously 6 laps will die like siao 1 loh...
only those ultra fit or those pro footballers can pass...
but the rest of the criteria for naval diving unit...
like cheapskate free fragger like that...
duno abt the 4m pool though, never go down that deep b4...
can struggle to hold breath for 25 metres...
but cannot continuously, will wan ger ger to cpr me...

so i ditch my usual jogging 4...
alternate between running n jogging throughout...
not realli say running, just faster movement like tt...
if can run like tt weird guy the best...
he looks stupid, looks clumsy, his posture is so weird...
but he is so damn fast, and can finish 2.4 at tt pace...

i need someone to brainwash me...
pls make my mind believe that i am a machine...
like that then i can go on forever...
without ever having to slow down...
just becos my body cant take it...

a good advice for anyone out there...
dun underestimate petite n small sized ppl...
they can pack quite a punch sia...
today at the gym this ger so power...
duno how she can support the weight on her small frame...
she take the weights like those sissy boys take tt pattern...
i see until blur, all skin n bones can take so heavy...
she look like those like to go gai gai 1...
not a single hint of muscles anywhere leh...
dun judge a book by its cover, how true...

but pls, gers should wear pants to gym, seriously...
for the sake of ur own modesty, strictly no shorts...
if u like to make guys happy, then go ahead loh...

that loose n tightening feeling is coming back...
after i dun feel so tired, the mind's on the knee now...
even if i dun feel it, i can see the effects of it...
now i walk with a slight limp liao, so cool...
like someone who went to war n came back victorious...

i think it has been abt a month since the training started...
andi have something i would like to complain about...

makers of underwear should go n die

i wan to go back in time to kill tt person...
not onli him, i oso wan to kill the originator of clothes...

if nike n other sports brand have their so cool technology...
wat shirt can absorb sweat then dries fast...
which prevents ur body from being sticky n all...
its abt time they make something for underwear leh...
basket everytime i run ah, always end up my underwear wet...
and my shorts oso wet, like i cannot control my bladder like tt...
wetting my shorts while i run like veri fun like that...
lucky my shorts dun have any colors that make the wetness look obvious...

then ar, everywhere i sit, i always leave a gigantic peach-shaped mark on it...
next time ppl should go n do something about it...
u know like those stars go n put their handprints on the walk of fame...
then i go placed my butt down there, then chopped superior grade down there...
let ppl admire the wonderful peach-shape for hours like art...

n i hate the designs of underwear leh...
whenever ppl run fast, they tend to close their legs...
n becos guys got tt excess baggage down there...
they always end up having abrasions on the thighs loh...
becos tt bloody sides of the underwear got wat do u call that...
i duno tt 1 call wat la, i not some pro designer who make underwear until so shit...
make like swimming trunks better mah, more smoother...
the sides dun have that extra thing which should minimise abrasion...

then somemore when its wet, its not so heavy leh...
and u dun feel so gao wei loh, and so convienent too...
go swimming no nd go change into swimming trunks...
just wear ur customised swimming trunks-inspired underwear can liao...

oso duno why swim wear always so colorful 1...
underwear got color but oso not so color until like tt loh...
where do u get to see underwear with tricolors 1...
if u say swim wear is becos ppl are watching...

then underwear might as well everything be in nude color...
wat for put colors, u wan can oso design transparent underwear...
since they keep saying underwear is just there for support...
not for ppl to view or admire or beo or see 1...
of cos there are ppl looking at underwear mah...
otherwise life will be so boring right...
so pls use ur brain designers...
make more colors la, more bright colors...
that will be the centre of attraction...

and the big fuss abt clothes...
we always faced this problem...
duno wat clothes to wear when going out...
no suitable clothes for certain occasions...
too many clothes liao, duno which 1 best...
dun wear best loh, no need think so much...
and theres no excuse for being late too...
becos u cant make up ur mind on teletubbies tshirt or barney 1...

so please, lets go back to the stone age...
but shit, even adam n eve got something to cover up...

"naketified" - hong

3:04 AM




Now Playing: 旺福 - 小綿羊趕集

i have a bloody hard time trying to find this song...
they are pretty good at tongue twisters leh...
many money many money many money many money mehhh~

12:42 AM

June 22, 2004 COLOURED.




i am pissed...

supposed to be out swimming right now...
go there then lightning thunder all come...
and i did something i never did before...
i actually turn back b4 i went in...
the old me would have gone inside and wait...
but today i canot wait for something to happen...
later still have to go grandmother house eat...

swimming while raining is like out at the sea...
huge waves, raindrops piak piak piak on ur back...
like mini massage like that, very shiok...
but veri cold, u end up looking smaller...
becos the skin all tighten which i tink gers like...

dun understand the logic behind lightning means no swimming...
just becos its in the west area where its lightning prone...
doesnt mean that confirm will strike mah...
somemore strike oso strike tallest building...
down there so many hdb flats, all so tall...
wan to strike the pool wait until money fall from sky loh...

so i kuku go home without going swimming...
becos of the concession then i do that...
if i dun have, i sure stay there until i happi...
then go back home i saw sunlight...
from a dim sun to a bright sun...
really veri dulan liao loh...
the sky is not clear at all...
so bloody cloudy, no sight of clear blue skies at all...
yet it is so sunny, basket nia...
looks like i have to schedule 1 for saturday...

heres a nice motto from the movie ping pong...
run till u puke blood, practise until u piss blood

this shows that i am not working hard enough...
how much more pain can u take b4 u give it up...
giving up is good, finally a chance to relax...
but u will never taste the sweetness of victory...

cutting my hair next month...
its time to look serious...
where got ppl do sports got long hair 1...
except for those bloody vain 1 la...
anyway i am not F4, i dun nd long hair...

"body or soul" - hong

1:31 PM




go my ah ma house to take kee zhang...
dun even know have to go take...
until she call today say y i never go take...
tml have to go and bai bai becos duan wu jie liao...

finished gym then go find her...
i am so happy that she call me tua mao...
thats teochew which means big size...
other ppl say i just take it wif a pinch of salt...
but she is different leh, becos she my ah ma...
someone who has seen the skinny version of me b4...
my parents never said anything abt me becoming big or anything...
onli my sister tell me dun go train liao...

my initial plan is to take the stuff and just scram...
but i end up stay down there eat her bak zhang...
drink some water, eat watermelon, drink more water...

u see old people like company...
esp when they see their grandchildren...
n then they do all sorts of things to make u stay...
loneliness is something they do not want...
i stay down there she like veri happi like tt...
so unlike me, i wish no ppl come my hse...
come disturb me n i will break ur leg...

but she is getting old liao...
getting sick ever so often these days...
i think her days are numbered...
her face isnt tt chubby animore...
and all sorts of old ppl ailments...
someday someone has to go right...

then when i say i have to go...
she like look so sad wor...
seems i have upgraded my status...
from aunty killer to ah ma killer...
i feel so bad to kill ppl leh...

"count bodies like sheep" - hong

2:00 AM


if u dun see the funny side of the previous entry...
use this mini guide to help u along...

LAI DAT
"Like that". Yet another Singlish tag.
1. "He look like a pig lai dat."
2. "Wah lau, I like damn tired lai dat."
3. Beng: "How are you?"
Seng: "Lai dat, lor."

KAN NI NA BU/ KAN NI NA BU CHAO CHEE BYE
The rudest phrase of all. Use only if you wish to be beaten up or want other people to think you were raised in a longkang. Literally: "Fuck your mother/Fuck your mother's smelly cunt."

HOR
Another Singlish tag, used like a punctuation mark.
"He, hor, very kan cheong one.

CATCH NO BALL
The literal translation of the Hokkien phrase "Lia'h Boh Kiew". Means to completely not understand.
1. "Wah, that movie was so cheem, I totally catch no ball, man!"
2. "His accent is so powderful, I completely catch no ball."

TUA KEE
Hokkien for "big shot". Literally, "big stick".
"You lan copler only, what! Why you act so tua kee?" (You're only a lance corporal. How dare you act like such a big shot?"

LUM PAH PAH LAN / LPPL
A Hokkien term describing a person on whom a plan or action has backfired. Literally: "the testicles hitting the penis". The rhythm of the phrase suggests a ricocheting action, a surprisingly elegant touch, in such a rude phrase. The anglicized phrase "bang balls" probably came from this.
"He go and buy the puppy to impress his girlfriend, and instead it go and bite her. He damn lum pah pah lan now."

LAN LAN
Hokkien term which literally translates as "penis, penis". It means to have no other choice.
"Gah'men say must do, we lan lan also must do."

WAH LAN/WAH LAN EH/LAN EH
Hokkien term which can be loosely translated as "Oh Penis". Probably the most common Singlish expression of all, it is used in much the same way as "oh my goodness", "wow", or "damn!", depending on the tone used, and the context. More polite variants include "Wah Lau" and "Wah Piang".
1. "Wah lan eh! How can you do this sort of thing to me?"
2. "My first thought when I saw her was 'wah lan eh'."
3. "Lan eh, I ask you to do this sort of simple-simple thing, you can also cock up!"

KENA
Malay term which denotes that something has happened. Closest English approximation is "to get".
1. "He kena scolded by the teacher." (He was scolded by the teacher.)
2. "He kena whack by Ah Beng." (He got hit by Ah Beng.)

SIAN JIT PUA
"Sian" describes something as boring. "Jit pua" is Hokkien for "half". Put together, and the phrase can be loosely translated as "too boring by half", meaning it is extremely boring.
"Sian jit pua, man! This disco is damn boring!" ("This disco is too boring by half.")

ALAMAK
Of uncertain provenance, a general Malay exclamation that has long been rumoured to mean "Allah's mother". This has not been confirmed, and in any case, the term has since become a common expression of dismay or incredulity.
"Alamak! Why you go and do this sort of stupid thing?"

JANGAN TENSION
A Mat-ism, it is an exhortation to keep one's cool.

ITCHY BACKSIDE
A rather picturesque description of a restive person, i.e. someone who does something disruptive out of boredom.
Ah Beng: "Why you go and potong jalan Ah Teck's girlfriend?"
Ah Seng: "Aiyah, just itchy backside, lor."

SARONG PARTY GIRL/SPG
A pejorative term describing local girls who will only go out with Caucasians. The stereotypical SPG, as she is usually abbreviated, is extremely tan, and skimpily-dressed.

HANTAM
A Malay word meaning to beat or hit.
"Don't go and disturb him while he so busy. He sure hantam you one."

ORANG PUTIH
Malay term literally meaning, "white people". Describes Caucasians.

STEADY POM PEE PEE
An extension of "steady", this is an adjective describing someone's prowess or sang froid, i.e. ability to remain cool under pressure.
"Wah! Matthew's MCQ is steady pom pee pee one, leh! He no need to study also can get full marks."

COCK
Despite seemingly obscene connotations, the use of "cock is actually fairly benign. It has become the de facto Singlish way to describe something as being nonsensical or sub-standard; the local equivalent of "rubbish" or "junk". Sometimes used as the short form of "cockanaden".
1. "Don't listen to him, he's only talking cock."
2. "Wah lau, you go and buy this cock thing for what?"
3. "Why you so cock, go and invest in that dot-com?"

SALA
Malay for wrong and incorrect.
His house is over there, not here. You go sala oreddy, lah.

"service with a smile" - hong

1:31 AM

June 21, 2004 COLOURED.


article taken from talkingcock.com...
for foreigners interested in learning singlish our way...
this is a nice piece to start off with... :D

CIA: Osama Using Singlish as Code

The CIA today announced that they have managed to decrypt Al Qaeda’s secret code of communication – which their experts have determined is Singlish.

According to Pentagon spokesperson Colonel Anne Nigma, “We have been monitoring Al Qaeda chatter in Southeast Asia for many months, but it all seemed a hopeless gibberish to us – some English words, but also other words we didn’t recognize. Then the free trade agreement negotiating team came back from Singapore with a copy of The Coxford Singlish Dictionary.”

“Suddenly,” said Colonel Nigma, “We all slapped our foreheads and went, orh, like dat one!”

Colonel Nigma said that the Coxford Singlish Dictionary had helped the CIA clear up many puzzling terms in the intercepted Al Qaeda communiqués.

“For instance, there was a lot of use of the phrase ‘kaninabu’,” said Colonel Nigma, “Which we strongly believe to be a reference to Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq. We believe that this shows the atrocities there were not actually committed by US forces, but by foreign insurgents linked to Osama bin Laden.”

Colonel Nigma gave several more examples of Singlish used in Al Qaeda chatter:

Statement: “Americans, hor, all catch no ball, one.”
CIA translation: “These American whores catch all balls, except one.”
Believed to be: A suggestion that Al Qaeda is planning on bombing the Super Bowl.

Statement: “Americans, hor, go Iraq that time talk like they so tua kee lai dat. Now they all LPPL.”
CIA translation: “These American whores talked as if they are turkeys when they went into Iraq. But now, they have deployed their LRRP (Long Range Reconnaissance Patrol) troops.”
Believed to be: A clear indication that Al Qaeda is monitoring US troop movements in Iraq.

Statement: “Wah lau, today I went Marina to see Troy, but buy ticket that time, lan-lan kena mobilization. Make me damn sian chi pua.”
CIA translation: “The Marines were mobilized today to invade Tikrit by land. They think it will be a luau, but instead, they will encounter a scene out of Troy, which will make them all puke their damned chips.”
Believed to be: Al Qaeda intends to build a huge wooden horse to fool coalition forces in Tikrit.

Statement: “I told him, alamak, come over, jangan tension lah, but then he itchy backside go and disturb that SPG and kena hantam by her Orang Putih suami.”
CIA translation: “I told him to mark Allah’s words and overcome his Jungian tension by swamping the infidels with RPGs and Agent Orange, which shall disturb and haunt them in the form of itchy rashes on their buttocks.”
Believed to be: Proof that Al Qaeda is developing a stockpile of both conventional and chemical weapons.

“This is a major breakthrough,” said Colonel Nigma, adding: “Now we all steady pom pee pee oreddy.”

However, some other analysts believe that the CIA have not actually intercepted the right chatter, but have merely stumbled upon some regular Singaporean chatrooms.

“Yeah, right,” sneered Colonel Nigma. “We know what we’re doing. Look at how we managed to uncover all those weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, those shipments of uranium from Niger… we’re clearly the experts in military intelligence here!”

Meanwhile, the editor of the Coxford Singlish Dictionary has also issued a statement saying, “Eh, CIA, your translation all a bit cock, leh. Not say I say what, hor, but if you read the Coxford properly, you wen get this sort of sala translation.”

Colonel Nigma’s response was steadfast. “American military intelligence officers know from experience that reading is not a reliable resource. Look at all those hundreds of pages by all those international agencies about how there were no WMDs in Iraq. We knew better than to read them. In fact, and our president hasn’t even bothered to learn how to read.”

10:12 AM




wat did u do on fathers day...
many would be acting filial...
splurging on gifts for them...
treat them to some strip show...
bringing them out for meals...
bring them out to gai gai...
bring them go zoo and say how he looks like monkey...
write a card personally abt how great he is...

for me, i think i did nothing...
i stayed home and play cm the whole day...

"aiya, cant u do something for him, he will be so happy that he will cry like a sissy boy"

if u have been a bad boy...
always go out n never go home 1...
veri late go home, smoke...
drink, drugs, gamble, make trouble...
sex with underaged ppl, fights...
ur father will be glad if u stay home for tt day...
just for that day and he will be satisfied...

but its different for me u know...
i dun go out late...
i dun smoke, drink, drugs, gamble, fights...
i dun make trouble, sex with underaged....
i stay home everyday...
the only times i am out is when im going swimming, gym or running...

so for me, i have to do more than just staying at home...
staying at home isnt satisfaction for my father...
where do u get parents who is so desperate to get u out...
always hinting something abt go out n c the world...
i have seen a lot abt this world just by watching porn...

i do have a problem...
a problem everyone wish to have...
but they know they cant have...
becos they canot give it up...

ps: if u thought tt kid up there was me, u need to see a shrink

"si le dou yao ai" - hong

9:54 AM




paisei ar, for making this presentation of BoA so ugly...
i have no time to resize them properly...
this hello utility is driving me crazy...
if only they can allow multiple uploads for a single post...

anyway for those who still have no clue abt BoA...
she's a singer born in korea, released japanese n korean albums...
a very young ger born in year of 86...
and many teen guys going gaga over her...
i am not teen liao but she is veri irresistable...
give me more time n i put up a nice gallery okie!

2:03 AM

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