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C O L O U R S
April 29, 2004 COLOURED.


i took a rather long time to figure out flash...
i was fascinated by it when i visited donnie darko website...
then i jump upon the chance when the boss wants a flash intro for his site...
free learning at your own pace, what more can u ask for...
but it was hard la, see ppl do like so stylo milo...
then starting i try out duno how to move things around properly...
duno even know to insert frame, keyframe or blank keyframe...
when to tween, when not to tween, when to remove frame, when to clear keyframe...
very confusing loh, all this mambo jambo neber hear b4 1...
my network admin got do flash 5 b4...
then she try to explain some of the things that she know...
but i still gong gong and she oso gong gong becos many things changed liao...
got disillusioned soon after and sian of flash liao...
i put that aside for quite a while to focus on the database part...
then the boss keep nag nag "wheres my flash flash"...
i flash my white buttock for u la...
so i did some flashes, not my butt of cos...
why would i wan to show a guy...
but i do liao ar, spedn a lot of time...
becos always press wrong thing end up have to start over n over...

and so while i was waiting for the installation of pictureit! to finish...
i did this simple flash just to prevent me from falling asleep...






this 1 quite simple to do la...
veri fast do finish liao...
actually my first flash for the company is sth like tt...
but the time i took to complete took way longer than this one...
duno la, slowly slowly level up then can do more nicer things liao...
anyway i know this is lame, but at least one look and u know its flash...
i have a 2nd one one wif pics inserted into it...
but it looks way too weird liao...
i showed my boss and he say he has no comments...
i know he is trying to console me by saying it looks fine...
to me i see on the surface seems fine...
but something is sorely lacking...
it looks awkward but then it doesnt look that bad...
something is wrong wif the pics but then i have no solution for it...
he did said sth about it becoming like a powerpoint presentation...
but fading is the only effect that is nice on flash...
the rest of the effects like so ugly loh...

anyway i was installing that pictureit! to edit the pics...
something like photoshop like that but its more for dummies...
u know just like dreamweaver, frontpage compared to notepad...

notepad = hardcore
dreamweaver, frontpage = dummies

photoshop = hardcore
pictureit = dummies

actually photoshop oso cant say is hardcore la...
if there is anyone who actually use microsoft paint to draw pictures...
then that is really really something liao...

i think we all humans can be so funny at times...
see each other for so long...
then always dun talk dun talk...
then when someone wan to die liao ar...
start to keep talk n talk n talk...
like if i never say out...
i will never get the chance again...

elaine tml last day of her attachment...
and i think u can guess wat she did...
4 months never talk to each other...
then she today rattled off at me like erm... machine gun???
comment abt this comment abt that...
say this say that...
complain this complain that...
she knows since most prolly we dun see each other liao...
might as well say everything out...
i tink i oso siao like her...
i caught her machine gun bug...
she shoot me, i oso shoot her...
so much so that take the bus home keep talk talk talk...
until my stop liao still haben finish yet loh...
and that was like 30 minutes???
and i juz left wif a hurried goodbye...

crazy one she live so far away...
have to go to west side of singapore for attachment...
lol, and she has to wake up at unearthly hours...
but wat i didnt know was she work for 6 months liao...
NP attachment phase so long 1 ar...
lol, thank goodness i never study there...

May 25th Slipknot - Vol. 3: (The Subliminal Verses)

slipknot changed its sound liao man...
corey sounds more stone sour instead of slipknot...
less of his screamings and more on his vox...
but the aggressive drums is still there...
cant wait for this album... :D

"maggots maggots maggots" - hong

9:13 PM

April 28, 2004 COLOURED.


The emptiness is building from
The nothingness that we’ve all become


i am not a person who likes to bluff ppl...
i am not a nice guy or wat la...
its juz that i duno how to bluff convincingly...
always will let ppl see thru 1...
so i better not xia suay myself...
end up everything oso honest honest...

when ppl say they gay...
ppl say they lesbian...
ppl say they butch...
ppl say they agua...
ppl say they rich...

u know, those type of statements which ppl find it hard to believe 1...
everyone will go ya ya u r gay, lesbian, butch, agua, rich or watever...
becos they tink u siao one or juz trying to attract attention onli la...
but wat if they are wat they claim to be...
i encountered one today...

and i would like to make an apology...
im sorry that i qi pian her feelings...
i didnt mean to honestly...
how u expect me to believe wif juz words rite...
until she proved it with some evidence...
felt veri paisey la, but i tink she wun take it to heart...

its such a hassle to request for leave...
i wanted to go off at 1pm...
then supervisor say so early ar...
wah lan eh, ppl take half day off is 1pm leave 1 wat...
i oraedi veri gd liao by going to work today...
otherwise i can stay home all day and juz go sch can liao...
then still ask me can later then go school or not...
lucky i neber arrange time wif my LO...
otherwise i will fuck my supervisor upside down...
he even say 3pm go off can or not...
the sbs tuas bus have to wait like forever for 1 loh...
by the time i reach school will be like 5pm liao loh...
i c the LO oso not those hardworking type...
maybe he 4+ early knock off go home to enjoy beauty slp...
aiya dulan oso sian, oso cant do anything...

neber go lunch wif him...
the weeeeewah treat me eat today...
another gd guy down there...
likes to make fun of ppl but can be serious when needed...
apparently he treat becos i help him do things...
and becos i next week no nd to c their faces liao...
tt time mr nice guy go he oso go n treat him...
if whole company ppl all wan to go liao...
then i tink he oso go and treat them...
its nice to have 3 ppl in the car...
instead of the usual 5 or even 6 ppl squeezing into 1...
6 ppl squeeze most sian 1...
becos ger wear skirt have to sit in front...
end up 4 guys sit at back...
the kuku supervisor thin nvm...
got 2 big sized guys loh...
everytime squeeze like sai...
eat finish liao lagi worse...
1 of us always cant get in...
have to force the way in one...

so while we were away in some place safe from company spies...
there was gossip here and there...
but the gossip is solely focus on 1 person...
who else but dear kuku supervisor...
for the first time ever, i have seen my network administrator spoke...
i know she doesnt like him, but i duno to wat extent...
and she wasnt surprised when i said i oso sian of him...
then she went on to say some things i didnt know of...
and the funny sarcastic remarks which his fellow colleagues made...
while he was doing presentation during meetings...
like "sorry ar, but i never learn lip-synching leh, can speak or not"
they say he speak too softly...
i tink i spoke even softer than him loh...
but i dun like his pitch la...
so high like char boh...

and ppl like to gossip so much...
end up the one neber tok 1 oso kena involved...
come back liao they all ask my network admin...
"eh u 2 enjoy enjoy go moonlit lunch ar"...
honestly speaking i have never spoken that much to a ger b4...
other than my mother, other than my sister...
really leh, the rest of the gers i speak all one liners one...
but i think its more of circumstances than my preference...
after all shes the one in charge of my grades...
and maybe becos of the age gap la...
the rest all in their 30s...
she still in early 20s...
im one if being ard wif gers too much ar...
will anyhow tink 1, thoughts start to stray liao...
but she totally different, more like a sister to me...
but more importantly, like a friend...
i think if i treat everyone like that...
then my circle will have a balance of sexes liao...
rather than the one-sided male dominant...

speak bad abt supervisor...
but come back he got good news for me...
he say i can go off at 2pm...
inside happy can go off early...
but i act hardworking abit...
i wait until 2:30 then go off...
oso duno my lucky day or not today...
the moment i reach the bus-stop...
the bus come liao, now im not late...
but will be super early...

then luck came again...
i saw celebrities at tuas...
ya, u heard that rite...
celebrities at tuas...
theres onli 1 show where they will come to such uncool places...

READY STEADY, POM PEE PEE, WEEE LIEW WEEE
inside the bus saw a pick-up being stopped by someone...
then i saw cameras, they were rushing something...
i at first thoguht wat news reporters...
but then news reporters oso wun rush 1 mah...
then suddenly i saw something big bouncing...

IT WAS SO DAMN BIG LOH

infamous famous ann poh n her boobs were there as well...
later bryant wong caught up wif them to ask the person...
i only c for a while before the bus made a turn to the other side...

how lucky can i be...
reach boon lay interchange...
then suddenly this ger poke poke...
and jumped right to my face...
didnt i say i was lucky...
she was going to get my phone number...
and i was going to tell her i dun have hp...
sorry but luck dies fast...

yea she did poke poke...
yea she did jumped right to my face...
so close that i was staring at her face instead of listening to her...
but no she didnt ask for my phone number...
the only consolation for a handshake from a nice ger...
and erm... shit i forgot wats her name...
end up she wanted to sell some charity things...
which the money can be redeemed back in the form of some eating vouchers...
i like gers, but i dun like charities...
and i dun do charities...
given a choice to chooose...
i rather give up the ger...
so that was wat i did...
anyway i tink she was pretty clever...
she handpicked her targets...
i was observing her, thats y i know...
since i got so much time, might as well test test...
she didnt approach gers, always approach guys who are alone...
her stragedy was a winning one...
i noticed the number of tickets she has managed to sell...
it was a considerable amount sia...
gers, they always have it their way dun they...

lucky lucky lucky...
arrived school at 3:30pm...
way too early for 4pm...
anyway i juz headed to his room's direction...
and then i saw him, erm no...
i saw him but i didnt recognized him...
c 2 times onli and have no impression of him...
but i tink he has an impression of me...
so the usual loh...
if u tink its him, juz make eye contact and hope for the best...
if he reacts then u know its him then can say hi sir i was looking for u...
bloody heng loh, he was going towards t12 office...
if i missed him, duno must wait how long for him liao...
he is a bugger, a bloody bugger...
this week dun wan come visit me...
then tell me he next monday come n visit me...
to see wat i have been doing...
duno wats his purpose of coming...
i thought he was supposed to grade me by this weeek...
he say he coming on monday to grade me on wat i have done...
bo liao, if i no mood i go request for off on that day...
then he come oso wasted trip, hahahah...
but i am good boy la, if i ask for too much leave...
they will sian one, even though they have oreadi submitted my appraisal liao...
i still must have this act ahrdworking attitude...
otherwise they will gossip gossip again...

"i can move any mountain" - hong

10:50 PM

April 26, 2004 COLOURED.


i thrive on my rage...
without hate, i cease to exist...
i hate them, but without them...
i would find life rather boring...
without them, i wouldnt have any goals to strive for...

forget love, forget friendship...

10 things i hate about work

  1. early mornings

  2. sissy supervisor

  3. 38 tina

  4. act-bigshot eva

  5. rolly-polly ST

  6. fakeko-doctor fuchs

  7. bloody-vaio jurgen

  8. act-hardworking cleaning auntie

  9. the printers

  10. lotus notes


10 things i hate about my room

  1. no aircon

  2. too messy

  3. treated like storeroom

  4. too dusty

  5. wrong positioning of pc

  6. the floor tiles

  7. unflexible chair

  8. wrong positioning of everything

  9. the underwear

  10. starhub bills


10 things i hate about my life
  1. eyes

  2. poor eyesight

  3. right forearm

  4. right shoulder

  5. upper left back

  6. right kneecap

  7. left thumb joint

  8. lousy hair

  9. corn toes

  10. hairy


10 things i hate about my frens
  1. too rich

  2. too smart

  3. too talented

  4. too whiny

  5. too haizy

  6. too worrying

  7. spend too much money

  8. smoke too much

  9. bragged too much

  10. too weak


10 things i hate about singapore
  1. rainy days

  2. humid days

  3. windy days

  4. hazy days

  5. ezlinks

  6. city harvest church

  7. no demostrations

  8. no porn mags

  9. no political fights

  10. no masters in sex-ology


10 things i hate about swimming
  1. the kids that like to kick my kuku

  2. the free-stylers

  3. the butterfliers

  4. the ones standing at the sides

  5. the suntanning ppl

  6. the 1-lap-mati ppl

  7. the 5-lap-mati ppl

  8. the 10-lap-mati ppl

  9. the shower cubicles

  10. the admission fee


10 things i hate about gym
  1. no bench

  2. no machines

  3. the cmi-guys

  4. the beer bellies

  5. the rag-n-bones

  6. the pulling-up of shirts

  7. the rolling-up of sleeves

  8. the dumbos who take so light weight but do so long

  9. the dumbos who take so heavy until cmi still wan to take

  10. the dumbos who take supplements


10 things i hate about irc
  1. the private messaging ppl

  2. galaxynet spamming

  3. the 9 letter restriction

  4. the frequent splits

  5. the lamos hu tink honggy is a ger

  6. the lamos hu tink honggy is hoggy

  7. the cheehongers

  8. the heavy color light freners

  9. the breeding ground for hackers

  10. the dc timeout


10 things i hate about radio
  1. no rock

  2. punk

  3. black music

  4. william hung

  5. hip hop

  6. rnb

  7. no metal

  8. no trance

  9. strict rules

  10. songs banned but eminem still on playlist


10 things i hate about william hung
  1. the face

  2. the hair

  3. the voice

  4. the guts

  5. the cheena look

  6. the act cute

  7. the ppl-laugh-at-me-but-i-tink-they-like-my-singing

  8. the way he always make me nua when gyming

  9. the ding dong bells

  10. the long ling longs

(ps: i have not seen his audition up til now, and i intend to keep it that way)

aiya shit, got many more hates to write about...
but monday blues and cant tink of much to write for now...

so you think that you got it all figured out
i told you, you have no idea what it is all about
now you want to cling to the next big thing
be part of the scene and ride the big machine
well it aint gonna work out that way

what, who, where were you
when i was down on my luck
you know you never gave a fuck
you just cast me aside
what who where were u when i needed you,
you know you never came through
and now you want to come along for the ride

i told you i know you as well as you think you do
i’ll show you just how easy you are to see straight through

nothing to me
u're nothing to me


"the nothingness" - hong

10:24 PM


it's raining
i know you think that
everyone is looking at you
why do you think that
everyone is looking at you?
you think it's funny?
well i'm starting to
you better get in

it's raining on your parade
you better get back inside
before the big one comes and
washes us all away

i know you think that
everyone is looking at you
why do you think that
everyone is looking at you?
you think you're stunning?
well i'm stunning, too
you better get in

when the sun shines
and dries up all the rain
it's all the same it's all the same
does it matter?
but if it doesn't shine
and take away the blame
it's not the same
it's not the same

you wanted this - another point of view
and then i saw another side of you
roses turn black when i'm blue
fuck me?
well fuck you too

1:12 PM

April 25, 2004 COLOURED.


some say i live a blessed life...

if u think that...

having a weird mark on the right forearm...
having a weird mark on the right shoulder...
having a large mole at the upper left back...
being cursed with eyes that look so dead...
possessed hands so beautiful that will put women to shame...
lived in a very protective environment...
none of ur relatives know who u realli are...
none in ur family know who u realli are...
none of ur frens know what u are thinking...
living in a 4 room flat and family doesnt own a car...
never goes for holidays...
never buy new clothes...

u tink thats life?

wake up...
eat breakfast...
take bus 302...
walk to pickup point...
wait for serene...
board the lime green bus...
watch the cars...
alight at destination...
open door...
go up steps...
open door...
put down bag...
unlock door...
close aircon...
open aircon...
change tape...
on the lights...
on the pc...
use vnc go to mailserver...
throw all fax to another folder...
disconnect from vnc...
wait for stupid auntie to clean finish toilet...
do network admin's project...
keeping a lookout for the agua...
keeping a lookout for the bear...
go toilet...
lock myself in last cubicle...
take out specs...
rub eyes...
sleep...
wear specs...
flush toilet...
go back to my seat...
lunchtime...
takeaway for network admin...
go backdoor...
press the button unlock door...
down the stairs...
past the smoking guys...
out of office area...
agua comes toking duno wat shit...
fake fake smile bluff bluff him...
hopes he falls into drain and break his leg...
walks to coffeshop...
eat eat fast n furious...
buy the new paper...
walk back to company...
listen to agua duno toking wat shit again...
hopes he kena bang by car...
fake fake smile smile again...
go back cursing at him again...
hope his buttock stuck at tolet bowl...
always at toilet dun give me chance...
stare computer until wan to sleep...
wait for stupid auntie to clean finish toilet...
go toilet...
lock door in last cubicle...
take off specs...
rub eyes...
sleep...
wear specs...
flush toilet...
go back to seat...
wait for 5:30...
pack bag go home...
align from lot 1...
go take 302 to go home...
open pc...
go irc say chupe chupe~...
go bathe...
go irc say chupe chupe~...
go eat n watch tv...
finish liao go irc say chupe chupe~...
check neopets, buy stocks...
write blog, publish blog...
wait for hiao po to wail...
edit code, test out send back...
open ABC and set off monitor to 1 min...
off the lights on the fan and go slp...

that is my weekday life...

of cos once my attachment is over, its gonna be...

odd days

sleeping...
sleeping...
sleeping...
sleeping...
stomach too empty...
wake up...
eat breakfast...
check the weather...
go swim...
eat lunch...
wait for brainfreeze to recover...
clear movies...
learn flash...
make new template...
eat dinner...
go irc say chupe chupe~...
blog...
neopets...
fishing...
one piece...
porn...
sleep...

even days

sleeping...
sleeping...
sleeping...
sleeping...
stomach too empty...
wake up...
eat breakfast...
go irc say chupe chupe~...
go gym...
eat lunch...
wait for nua-ness to recover...
clear movies...
learn flash...
make new template...
eat dinner...
go irc say chupe chupe~...
blog...
neopets...
fishing...
one piece...
porn...
sleep...

if u haben notice by now...
i never listed going out gaigai as any of my activities...
basically becos im too boring for ppl to ask me out...
either that or im too lazy to go out...

so u still tink i live a blessed life?

I swear sometimes I think this life is killing me

I swear it's killin me
All our shattered hopes
And our long dead dreams
The wreckage that we all try to keep
From coming to life
And tearing us apart at the seams


"falling, fallen angel..." - hong

9:53 PM


i told francis that the more i work the more sian i become...
no, i am not someone who loves toking to myself...
im telling that to francis the accountant...
after all i have took up his suggestion of wearing casual clothes...
since im always in formal together with them...
then suddenly i stopped wearing formal liao...
wear back poly clothes, the usual t-shirt n jeans...

"aiya, ur pay so low, of cos u sian la"

true, low pay is very demoralising 1...
i tink most are satisfied with high pay...
even though its sth which they are sick of doing...
they say work isnt something interesting...
i wonder what if we get to do wat we wan to do...
and getting paid for it... tt sounds veri meaningful...

what if u can be what u dream to be...

i think when we were young, most dreamt of becoming teachers...
becos we have all been psychoed that being a teacher is all gd n no bad...
we all know its a stressful job which not everyone is capable of doing well...
and its a pretty lame excuse if u claim u wan to teach becos u love kids...
if u love kids, juz have sex every day and enjoy the kid-making process...
from the almighty kid-churning factory, u urself can have as many kids as u wan...
its juz a question of how many...
u wan 40 kids? no problem, u can still be a mother at 60...
provided still got guy wan to have sex wif someone so old...
not say dun have la, the hubby loh...
but then hubby by then oreadi impotent liao la...
its very creepy leh, imagine someone 39 years older than u...
and he is actually ur brother when he is old enuf to be ur father liao...

but dun worry, i have neber thought of being a teacher...
what i have thought of...

one of my earliest thoughts at career is the office work...
those 9 to 5, at some nice looking place in orchard...
doing nth but staring at the computer oso duno do wat...
now that i have experienced it, i find it kinda boring...
esp for IT jobs, everything is going smoothly...
u are really bored to death...
but once problems creep up, its never-ending...
then busy like shit liao...
anyway i neber quite understand why ppl say teir working...
when they are using their lotus mail 90% of their work time...
10% is spent on toilet breaks and tea breaks and duno wat breaks...
to them, its like no mail = no more work liao...
every now and then check out and writing mail...
like that oso consider work meh...

the rest of my thoughts are just plain fantasies...

watch football of cos u dream of being a football star...
like playing professional football for man u...
then go represent singapore win world cup...
let singapore become a football power...
then after that learn coaching...
go n coach man u...

c too much tv oso dream of being a actor...
all the kissing scenes, all the bed scenes...
all bao ka liao, the rest ar, the action pack ones...
all give the extras do can liao...
then got so many fans screaming ur name...
then can slowly handpick them...
filter the ugly ones from the pretty ones...
then take picture wif pretty ones can put hand around waist...
some oso let u autograph on her chest...
cheng ji chi tofu of cos u go n chi la...
they dun mind 1 la, tink they more than happy to be eaten by stars...
then still can win duno wat best actor...
best supporting actor, of cos the money is there for the taking...

thought of working in MTV...
i know they show lame pop videos...
but i guess the work environment is quite cool?
they always seem relaxed and stuff...
and of cos u get the chance to meet the stars...
i dun tink i wan to work for MTV2 though...
even though it plays rock, rock too much guys liao...
c them too often will onli turn gay...
so must work in MTV...
can see the bitches flaunting their bosoms...
and of cos the privileged invites to some exclusive parties...

thought of becoming a policeman...
having a gun around u is so good...
i c u not happy, bang u die...
my report juz put self defence can liao...
if im sadistic, i wun shoot...
i juz set the big bad dog off to chase...
then become CID go work undercover...
know the black n white worlds...
can be so paikia and not be caught...
can have kapoh free drugs...
can kapoh pirated games...
can kapoh porno videos...
can do body check on anyone u fancy...
can use baton to whack ppl...
can use handcuffs for ur nite time fantasies...
most imptly, catching bad guys and save the day...

oso dream of being a doctor...
the pay so bloody high...
then u wan to take wat drugs oso can...
can be god and save ppl...
can help gers check breasts for lumps...
forever find it fascinating that strangers entrust their bodies to someone they duno...
i say strip, then off wif ur clothes...
like so ting hua like tt, best for hen-pecked husbands who has had enuf...
and the playing wif their body parts...
cut their bodies up, sew here sew there...
like frankenstein like that, can pull the heart out n c it beating...
thne put it back in and tie a knot to let patient have heart attack...
dropping scissors, needles, gloves, saliva...
any other forieng bodies all drop inside the body...
sew up nice nice for them, they oso happy...
somemore they thank you for doing a wonderful job...
hey, u're welcome, im all for body modification...
seriously i tink the ppl are sick...
wat for say thank you...
say thank you and still have to part wid a large sum of money for tt operation...
its not worth it okie, i rather u die and save the money for ur closed ones...

i also thought of being in a rock band...
u know, screaming ur ass out and they say u kick ass...
scream here scream there gers c sure faint...
but i no vox leh, so a guitarist would be nice...
but i duno guitar and guitarists all so hao lian...
not interested in bass becos no one can realli hear bass properly...
drummer like veri fun, esp bang so fast, like on steriods...
their feet oso, tink they can run veri fast nia...
wats good abtbenig in rock band is of cos the concerts...
body surfing so nice, let ppl grope ur private parts...
let guys squeeze u oso duno who is the culprit...
then c them sing wif u while the msuic soften...
hear the entire arena echoing wif their sound...
then u say way they oso like...
like everyone go die, they oso happy...
the more u scold n curse, the more they like...
ever seen 10,000 over ppl showing their middle fingers at once...
that is like the coolest shit ever...

since i have a stuttering problem...
i thought i could make it as a rapper...
back then in sec sch i was going ard singing take a look around...
and competing wif ppl, see who can go faster...
then jay fever hits town...
i have neber heard anyone say chinese say so fast...
but we all know he oso anyhow shit out the words 1...
so there i was, making songs sound like remixes...
then i rewind the words over n over n over n over again...
until i was sick of it and i stopped talking liao...

and in poly thought of being a dj in some funky club...
spinning music c ppl lancing lancing...
c lame ppl fight fight, take parang throw here throw there...
c ppl diao lai diao qu then u juz happy spin spin music...
then gers drink too much go up on ur table lancing...
let u c c underwear or no underwear, depending how crazy they are...
oso some gays who like to feel u all over...
and becos u cant run off since u're spinning music...
bo bian let them touch touch, poke poke...
lets juz say the pros outweight the cons...
juz dun work in a gay club can le....

if u wan to be on the righteous side...
i wan to be on the side where ppl always sees it as wrong...
so i wan to be police...
but i oso wan to be on the other extreme end as well...
watch too much gu huo zai mvoies...
be in charge of some big gangs...
control territories, police oso smaller than us...
gambling dens, prostitution, niteclubs, contraband smuggling...
all under my control...
then got dai ji go settle wif them...
u tok reason i tok reason...
show tattoo here tattoo there...
the underworld always emphasized abt brotherhood rite...
i am one who believes in that...
u die for me, i die for u...
not forgetting the black suits u get to wear...
not those laoya pasar malam 1 la...
those is for xiao hun huns de...
those who tink they veri big shot but actually under the control of someone else...

gigolo sounds fun rite...
since guys like sex...
i tink we should all be gigolos or sth...
can have sex and get paid for it too...
this type of lobang where can get...
but its not so rosy as it seems...
u canot choose who ur client is loh...
if can then can accept onli those that u find acceptable 1...
like that oso jialat la, since the percentage is almost near to 0...
then be gigolo like neber be like that, no business at all...
so u have to make do wif aunties...
the worst part is guys will come looking for u too...
is there a drug to make more gers be very horny?

all these thoughts are true, seriously...
but then again, they're juz fantasies...
if i can ever fulfill either one of them...
i would like so bloody happy liao...

"there are many of those who oppose us" - hong

12:54 AM

April 22, 2004 COLOURED.


its not aonggy...
its not bonggy...
its not conggy...
its not donggy...
its not eonggy...
its not fonggy...
its not gonggy...
its not ionngy...
its not jonggy...
its not konggy...
its not longgy...
its not monggy...
its not nonggy...
its not oonggy...
its not ponggy...
its not qonggy...
its not ronggy...
its not songgy...
its not tonggy...
its not uonggy...
its not vonggy...
its not wonggy...
its not xonggy...
its not yonggy...
its not zonggy...

ZZzZzZZZzzzZZZ

its not aoggy...
its not boggy...
its not coggy...
its not doggy...
its not eoggy...
its not foggy...
its not goggy...
its not iongy...
its not joggy...
its not koggy...
its not loggy...
its not moggy...
its not noggy...
its not ooggy...
its not poggy...
its not qoggy...
its not roggy...
its not soggy...
its not toggy...
its not uoggy...
its not voggy...
its not woggy...
its not xoggy...
its not yoggy...
its not zoggy...

its not hongy...
its not hoggy...
its not horny...
its not hoongy..
its not honngy...
its not hhongy...
its not hionggy...
its not hhoonnggyy...

do u know that is a key call tab???

Something beautiful is happening inside for me
Something sensual, it's full of fire and mystery
I feel hypnotised
I feel paralysed
I have found heaven

There's a thousand reasons
Why I shouldn't spend my time with you
For every reason not to be here
I can think of two
To keep me hanging on
Feeling nothing's wrong
Inside your heaven

It's only when I lose myself in someone else
That I find myself
I find myself

I can feel the emptiness inside me
Fade and disappear
There's a feeling of contentment
Now that you are here
I feel satisfied
I belong inside
Your velvet heaven

Did I need to sell my soul for pleasure like this
Did I have to lose control to treasure your kiss
Did I need to place my heart in the palm of your hand
Before I could even start to understand


"tina... lol" - hong

9:25 PM

April 21, 2004 COLOURED.


Here is a song from the wrong side of town
Where I'm bound to the ground by the loneliest sound
And it pounds from within and is pinning me down

Here is a page from the emptiest stage
A cage or the heaviest cross ever made
A gauge of the deadliest trap ever laid

And I thank you for bringing me here
For showing me home
For singing these tears
Finally I've found that I belong here


i tink i need to get my thoughts straight...
i duno if is it only me or its human nature...

boy is fren fren wif ger...
happy happy juz normal frens...
dun mind if ger becomes attached or wat in future...
then boy's fren gets to know the ger...
boy's fren oso fren fren wif ger...
and boy's fren oso happy happy normal frens...
but boy not happy le...
becos he tinks his fren is stealing limelight...
and scared fren end up become ger's bf...
and then boy hates it when the fren tok to the ger...

hmmm... sounds so childish rite... LOL
if he dun mind the ger attached...
then y he mind if the guy is his fren...
shouldnt it be like more better meh...
since he know the ger...
and the ger's bf is oso his fren...
surely he knows how his fren's character is...
and should be happy for them mah...
but then he so jealous loh...
end up become he tink he is the ger's bf...

normally i dun bring up this stuff...
too bad im the jealous one...
and i dun understand y i am feeling tt way...
damn, sounds so teenager-ish...
lucky i got no time to tink abt it much...
one whole night tinking abt it...
then next day go work no time to tink...
only got time to tink of code code n more codes...

i tink being jealous oso useless...
goes to show that got no confidence in ownself...
and theres nth much special abt the fren wat...
both same same, both guys and not gays...

dun ever judge a person by ur first impression...
i learnt my lesson the hard way...
first day of attachment i sticked closely to my supervisor...
basically becos erm, he seems a good guy...
and protective of me on my first day...
if i can still remember, i tink i wrote gd things abt him initially...
and then i hated my network admin becos erm...
she neglected me on my first day...
and she gave me something stupid to do for tt day...

i stuck by my supervisor for the next 1 week or so...
after that, i was kinda lost n confused...
i could stand his agua-ishness...
his high pitch, his retarded face and all...
as long as he is a good man...
alas, i found out the truth abt him...

he's a drag queen at nite...
puts on make up...
wears bombastic wigs...
insert big sized melons to his chest...
wears loud n hot mini skirts...
blowing smoke at lao ah peks...
singing "wo deng zhe ni hui lai" at some bapok niteclub...

this kind of man, where can find...
bloody rare, gers ought to cherish loh...
if u wan to msg me ask where to find this out-of-this-world man...
i have to say sorry, this sort of person doesnt exist...
maybe kumar, but the rest strictly no...

the things that i dun like abt him is...
simply becos he doesnt seem to care...
when he cares, he is too irritating...
and he loves to shirk responsibility...
he has been scolded by the manager so many times le...
sometimes i feel veri disgraced when he gets scolded...
urgh, surely i deserve a better supervisor?

meanwhile my network admin n i are getting along better n better...
only she knows my true abilities and wat i can offer...
the rest all see me as one who juz relaxes in the office doing nothing...
i tink its better that way, speak less n be low profile...
like tt ppl wan to say bad things about u oso hard...
the most onli say u dao or wat...
the moment u open ur mouth ar, will bound to offend anyone 1...
no matter how much u try to pacify every single one of them...
theres bound to be some bad blood...

mr nice guy's last day today...
his last words for me is to go ns n aim officer...
my aim is always to slack my life in ns...
slack whenever i can, eat snake where ever i go...
but my attitude change after seeing how some are so committed...

i guess ppl do change every now n then...
last time c jiahua so small sized like me...
then always kena bully by us and the seniors...
then he started going gym duno in sec 3 or 4...
and he improved a lit n become some fit guy...
but then back then i still dun like him becos he a bit toot...
duno whether he putting on a show or realli is born like tt...
saw his friendster recently and hes now a guardsmen...
seems like he is having the last laugh now...

i like success stories...
u know young young kena bully...
then grow up become the bully...
even though i a bit pissed becos ppl are actually getting better than me...
but still neber mind la, they r my motivation to do better...
anyway i still haven go in ns yet loh...
chiong officer have to c the type of punishment they give out first...

"whos the man" - hong

10:35 PM

April 19, 2004 COLOURED.


i find it hard to believe i was going to see her again...
i said b4 sometimes some things are juz meant to be...
if u dun do anything about it, it will come looking for u...
so there i was again, at the ulu ulu place at tuas...
where theres some place by the name of raffles marina...

i was dressed up very nicely...
formal attire and all...
even my grandfather doesnt look so grand...
the rest were in their casual clothes...
obviously i was the odd one out...
and some thought i was going to steal my grandfather's limelight...
go there eat is becos of bis birthday la...

down there like rich man's lifestyle...
so many yachts owned by ang mohs...
keep for fun 1 de, happy happy go out sailing a while...
bring SPGs go i jump u jump routine...
lazing down there like beach boy...

total relaxation out there...
no noise, onli hear the waters chop chop...
but u must first afford the money loh...
expats come here earn big money do zero work and enjoy life...
duno wat foreign talents... more like foreign clowns...

anyway, the moment we entered the restaurant...
i heard her oh-so-hot voice...
wan shang hao wan shang hao~...
god, like listening to xian nu sound like tt...

i was ignoring my whole relatives nia...
my eyes go wherever she went...
to the customers, to taking orders, to opening doors, to greeting ppl...
to smiling at kids, to serving dishes, to refilling drinks...
to adjusting her cheongsam, to watching her sashay around...

i even ignored my grandmother when she asked me wat i wan to drink...
my uncle wanted to get beer for me but my mother said no...
she asid i cannot drink n i duno how to drink...
she say wait i cannot hold my liqour well...
u c loh, near 20 years old liao still treat me like kid...
at home never mind la, go out still dun give face...
telling everybody i duno how to drink...

actually i oso neber drink, dun like the taste...
tt time at chinese garden drink beer wif some strangers oreadi sian liao...
doesnt taste like soft drink, doesnt taste like water...
why do ppl bother drinking anyway...
im more interested in getting women drunk...

my grandmother was nagging me to get some juice...
i am happy wif my chinese tea thank u veri much...
u know they always try to get u to ur oriental roots ar...
then here i am appreciating my chinese tea...
and they are trying to westernize me wif their juices...
so contradicting, duno wat they up to...

i have finally found out the reason why i dun talk...
i dun realli tink i was born quiet...
i tink i chose to be that way...
their behavior certainly justifed my actions...
see them grumble among themselves so much...
sometimes the family like not family liek tt...
one brother not happy wif that brother...
that brother not happy wif another brother...
everyone shares the same feeling though...
all unhappy wif each other...
i tink all more happy if no dinner at all...
ownself settle i happy u happy...

to me, the gathering like some irc outing like tt...
related by blood, but they r like strangers to me...
they duno my life, i duno their life...
perfect strangers makes perfect relatives...

suay day tt day, the restaurant kena blackout...
too bad i too retard to be her knight in shining armor...
neber go cover her in my arms and assure her everything's fine...
anyway she oso not scared of dark... so sian...
then she so white, tink she scared the others more likely...

i felt like punching my grandfather after he go find tina cheehong...
he knows where is the toilet liao...
then he still go fid her ask where is the toilet...
lessons i can learn from the elders...
next time i know the place i must try to act blur liao...
then purposely find excuse to go ask...

and then its time for farewell...
neber take any action as usual...
i am such a die hard believer of destiny...
its already a miracle that u get to c her twice...
without doing anything to change it...

thats life, some ppl u badly wan to c...
like once in a blue moon get to c onli loh...
some ppl u dun wan to c...
always die die appear in front of u de...

actually its useless yearning for someone so far...
oreadi got someone beside u le...
tts y its nice to be short sighted at times...
u appreciate ppl around u who help u do things...
instead of some person u always want but duno that much...

quite refreshing to hear my network admin actually praising me...
i tink today is the first time we actually have a good talk...
it didnt last that long, but it seem forever...
she juz started by saying tt mr nice guy is leaving this friday...
then she ask me when im leaving...
n starts to ask how i find here...
n i didnt hold back, i juz said some of the things...
confessing wat i have found useful while working...
although i say there's nth much to learn...
seriously i have learnt alot...
but most of them are juz minor things...

i tink she was juz being too nice when she said sth...
abt she was learning more from me than the other way round...
i oreadi forget the number of times she has to clean up my ass liao...
anyway, thanks and no thanks...
becos i am going to be arrogant liao... =D

"satisfaction guaranteed when im around" - hong

11:15 PM

April 18, 2004 COLOURED.


the days past by without u knowing it...
my last post was on thursday...
and that is where i shall start off with...

its d-day on thursday...
either u continue to be a beach boy wannabe...
or end up entering army 6 weeks early...
my body is showing all sorts of resistance...

in case u still didnt know, thought i might refresh u a bit...
ever wonder why u always stomachache juz when u wan to go school in the past?
not that u r drinking drain water or eating leftovers from macdonalds...
its juz that u dread school so much ur body decides to assist u...
like primary sch almost every day i will have stomachache...
but then once in secondary school lesser liao...
poly even better, i was beginning to suffer from constipation...
almost wun tio stomachache becos u can always choose not to go for lessons...

and so on thursday...
my stomach was feeling funny...
the weather is so hot...
and i feel veri dead...
totally no mood for any sports things...

seriously i didnt expect what i saw...
so many look like they have been training for very long...
all like sure ace the test or sth like tt...

of all the stations, my worst nitemare has to be the first...
if fail this grade, then the rest all no mood for anything liao...
then chicken extra go test jump makes me even more sian...
anyhow jump oso can jump until 240 n above...
the highest i have ever hit was 225 loh...
somemore that was back when i was 47kg...
now i have an extra 14kg to jump...

i guess it was the gut feeling...
i have been reading up the napfa manual on wednesday...
so i know more or less how to make a proper jump...
happy happy passed the minimum requirement...
but then my buttocks n neck suddenly stiff...
slight cramps, lol didnt land properly...
can even get the minimum gold standard on my 2nd jump...
but then my feet fly out kena foul...
otherwise can 23 something, still not gd enuf for 240...
chicken jump jump until 255, c until peng...
but too bad bryant not there...
otherwise i tink he would be a 270 280...

first station and many oreadi were dead...
veri surprisingly, they look like they were ready...
and then come up wif this sai results...
moral of story is muscles doesnt mean sure pass...

pull-ups many c it as a death station...
for ppl who go gym n for ppl who thin thin...
its like free frag 1, juz do for fun...
lan lan do 13 kena foul twice left 11 legitimate...
basically i wasnt using my arms at all...
my back was doing all the job for me...
thats the advantage of training every part of ur body...
one part too weak, use another loh...
maybe they should include bench press as part of napfa...

sit n reach now got new rules i didnt know...
i thought easy easy bend can pass liao...
now the thing adjustable one...
have to force myself juz to pass this one nia...
then my thighs stiff... song bo...

situps chao chao do until left 5 seconds stop liao...
lazy to get the muscles working...
i still have to tink about 2.4km...

really something wif my body that day...
every part of my body doesnt wan to work...
shuttle run worst hit...
run halfway kena left calf cramp...
it was pretty obvious i was limp running to the finish line...
lucky the person taking the time his hand abit retarted...
still can pass, lol thanks for ur retardness...

2.4km run wait until wan to die...
we kena last group to run, so sian...
then the movie hellboy have to wait until 9 then can watch...
happy i finish below 12 minutes...
dun ask for too much...
my running always sucks...

after that the rest all in toilet changing...
i c gers play netball... short skirts...
then got ger running in stadium...
no lights, still wear so sexy...
tink SP is safe? nah its not...
esp when we are still around...
i should have stayed back more during my time in SP...
duno how many more things i can see loh...

somemore got wat track n field team so late still running ard school...
i see them all got muscles nia, not those small small types...
is those medium to big sized ones...
makes me feel so inferior nia...
should have join them long ago...
then got more motivation to be better n better...
being ard wid slackers makes u feel top of the world...
all say u fit fit wor, i fat fat wor...
but in reality u're juz shit la...

tio fake at the cinema...
the timings all different 1...
left 10pm show, but no train to go back leh...
end up camp at macdonalds eat...
n then the 4 of us down there...
eat n tok cock, the luxury of life...
i tink thats wat i want for now...
it helps me to go past the 5 phrases a day...
and trains my stuttering problem...
best is of cos the cock session...
where u can stay at one place...
n have no regards for the time...
and say crap until ppl get sick n nauseous...

everything plan hao hao le...
friday then go orchard watch after work...
then can stay out more late...

friday no mood to work...
only looking forward to orchard...
like bloody long neber go liao...
but then quite happy la...
my place was shifted again...
to accomodate new staff coming in...
the other time i angry...
becos they tell me move like veri fun like tt...
move here, move there, i move house oso not that frequent loh...
now song song, i get to sit away from them...
and i more or less free to surf neopets wif no worries le...
no nd c the sissy face, no nd c ah beng boss face...

company bus extra go too fast...
end up reaching somerset too early...
sit down there like beggar...
attracting attention from all over...
then got some ppl like waiting for ppl type...
always bio bio around...
those tt neber meet b4 1 har...
look at me c if i got reaction or not...
if pretty ger then i will wave loh...
then say i am that person she is supposed to meet...
otherwise i am busy looking at OLs coming out from the gantries...
too long neber c OLs liao so gian...

first time watched 2 movies on same day in cinema...
hellboy at 2115, zatoichi at 0030...

i tink i realli too old liao...
didnt know the cathay cineleisure now 24 hours liao...
didnt know the escalators layout still like tt...
didnt know the cinema oso change liao...
didnt know ezone become so small...
didnt know level 9 got bowling...
didnt know gers actually ask guy for number...

eh, i first time c ger ask guy for number...
usually i only c that in shows...
lol, really too mountain tortoise liao...
the guy looks okay la, like xiao bai lian...
but then if he ever go swimming ar...
tink all the ppl will laugh at him...
its disgusting for a guy so white to swim...
veri er xin and veri no mood to swim de...

then i oso c 1 guy resting his head on another guy...
both dun have wat it takes to be gay leh...
no looks, no body, no facials, no anything...
maybe thats the future for gays?
dun look so good for me... poor gays

my frens said zatoichi sucks...
and i guess i was the only person in that cinema who likes tt film...
the music, the visuals is like so nice...
add the blood splurts n spills...
one day it will be shown on arts central...
one day, provided they allow the blood to flow...

go back home ard 0330 liao...
somemore i tell my mother dun cook for me...
i go watch movie bla bla...
she say dun come home too late...
her dun come home too late means be back b4 2300...
so u knows wat happen next loh...

DIDNT I TOLD U DUN SO LATE COME BACK
SO LATE OSO DUN WAN TO CALL HOME


the real reason why i dun wan to get hp... =D
i know u have to call back like dun let them worry...
but sian la, u call they oso ask...

WHY U DUN WAN TO GO HOME
SO LATE LIAO STILL DUN WAN COME BACK


in the end ar, got call or no call...
its all the same loh...
to be continued...

next episode: tina revisited...

darling stop confusing me
with your wishful thinking
hopeful enbraces
don't you understand?
i have to go through this
i belong to here where
no-one cares and no-one loves
no light no air to live in
a place called hate
the city of fear

i play dead
it stops the hurting
i play dead
and hurting stops

it's sometimes just like sleeping
curling up inside my private tortures
i nestle into pain
hug suffering
caress every ache


"all i wanna do is stare" - hong

9:57 PM

April 15, 2004 COLOURED.


this is the story of a ger...

i have a secret to reveal...
when i was young...
i mean really young...
my parents matchmake me wif another person...
and we got married on my 1 month birthday...
the guests look so happy...
i get to kiss the bride...
and i have to go n offer milk to everyone in the house...
basically becos i was too young to drink...
and they showered me wif gifts fit for a king...
condoms, porn tapes, homemade videos, voyuer vids, boa in her mum's tummy...
but my parents struck them off the gift list...
becos they wanted it for themselves instead of giving to the rightful owner...
so all i got was toys, toys, toys, and more toys...
search thru all the toys and couldnt find the one toy that i could play wif...
that one toy is.... haiz confiscated by my parents again...

but neber mind, i get to slp wif her on tt very night...
we cuddled and i hugged her to slp...
the next morning she was wet all over...
becos i was drooling n i couldnt help it...
there she was in my arms lying naked...
which guy c liao will sian 1 correct or not...

and since we duno each other b4 we were married...
we spent the rest of our lives learning about each other...
i have seen every pixel available on her...
turned up upside down, 360 degrees to find flaws wif her body...
and she has seen every pixel of me...

so every single night...
she would be crushed in between my thighs...
either tt or squashed by my body...
and she loves sleeping without clothes...
she even parades around in the nude during the day...
becos of her bombastic figure...
very hard to find clothes tt fit her...

over the years, she has been thru thick n thin wif me...
she has given me kids and even grandsons...
and she dun mind when i have someone on my mind...
she went thru many washing machine tortures for me...
becos she cant bear to see me suffer, she takes responsibility for all the sins i done...
she has a limp arm becos of my frequent crushing while sleeping...
she lost her nose once becos it was too weak...
thank god she got her nose reattached back...
eternally grateful to that mastery skill of sewing...

she almost didnt make it wif me while i was moving house 3 years back...
but my parents were touched by the strong love we had...
and they allowed her to come wif me...
to suffer more crushing and more machine washes...

wat i like about her

u know the kids she had?
they all call her mama...
and the kids's kids call her ah ma...
guess wat she calls me...
no, not lao gong...
she calls me papa...

in case u're crying incest...
pls calm down, theres nth wrong wif it...
they tink its too taboo to bring tt up...
but i tink it exist...
u c those porn shows...
old man has sex wif young ger...
teacher, or plumber, or watever...
but neber as parents...
as foster parents ya got...
but parents no...

u c, if its okie for an old man to have sex wif someone so young...
what if they tell u actually its his daughter...
daughter n young ger same age...
lookalike bla bla watever shit...
so theres really nth wrong wif incest...
the only thing wrong is the high percentage of getting deformed babies...
u know like its nature, have sex wif any relative n u get punished...

okie that is not the main pt about her...

i like the way she sweeps her hair...
beats those shampoo advertisements anytime...
so mesmerizing~... here take a look at this...


STEAM NIA~

but sometimes she has a bad hair day...
those frequent hair sweeping is doing her no good...
like this...


she's trying to be retro like audrey hepburn...
i like audrey, but its tautou, not hepburn...
n she looks like a cadet wif the beret...
if gers like men in uniform...
guys like gers in uniform too...
but without the beret pls...

oh n did u know i have a fetish for this???


FLAT CHEST N BIG STOMACH TURNS ME ON!
so gers 4get about wanting to be slim okay...
the stomach so round, so nice to put ur hand on...
and then keep turning in circles n circles...
and u never get tired of it at all...

they say the most attracting thing about a person is the bad habits...


how true... whenever she turn n scratch her butt...
i cant help and stare at tt bigger than J.Lo's bum...


what can i say, i like noses full of blackheads...
i tink its pretty fitting for someone so gothic looking...
imagine everything is so white...
then no black, look like white paper like tt...


those sadako eyes remind me not to stray...
and so far i have been very faithful to her...


thats her sons n grandsons, as u can c, i wasnt there...
becos i refused to acknowlege that my offsprings are dogs...

so there u go...
my tribute to the one n only snoopy!

when i say i love u as much as i love my snoopy...
u know thats the highest compliment i will ever pay someone...

"based on a true story" - hong

1:07 PM

April 13, 2004 COLOURED.


i regretted saying i hate ppl who dun trust my ability in doing work...
the next day my boss has too much trust in me liao...
bloody shit give me so much things to do...
wan me to do flash, wan me to do asp, wan me to change this, change that...
and hes going to be impatient over the next few days...
mainly becos i dun have much to show for the things he demanded...
most of the time will be spent on code editing...
which he doesnt bother about, all he cares is the interface...

my supervisor says hes going to train me to speak 5 phrases a day...
u mean i speak less than that everyday?
wow, i dun even bother to count leh...
most ppl would have splurted out 5 phrases in say 5 seconds?
and i can actually save my 5 phrases for 24 hours?
i am pretty impressed wif myself man...
i tink i am a class act...

some find me arrogant...
some find me snobbish...
some find me cool...
some find me cute...
some find me mysterious...
some find me boring...
some find me interesting...

aint it weird that u can be boring n interesting at the same time...
all this juz becos u're quiet and dun tok to ppl at all...
but after 3 months passed away, i can conclude 1 thing...
i really do need time to start talking...
and that time is needed to feel comfortable...
so far i am only comfortable wid my network admin...
thats becos i am after all, following her...
mentor mah, so bo bian, have to voice out...
otherwise she will give shit grades...
if onli she is my supervisor instead of that sissy...
she treats me like a colleague...
more like an equal i must say...
some things she duno will ask me...
but those she familiar wif then will share knowledge...
i tink thats how ppl should treat interns...
instead of treating us like some fucktard retards...
we are not pri sch kids who duno how to do this do that...
we got some basic knowledge in things okay...

"what gets u hot" - hong

9:45 PM

April 12, 2004 COLOURED.


The world is a vampire, sent to drain
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
And what do I get, for my pain
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game
Even though I know, I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold, like old job
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved


i missed out on something yesterday...
i remembered it this morning...
and i have forgotten it this evening...
oh well, apparently nothing...
apparently nothing at all...

i just realised one thing...
the most irritating thing on earth...
isnt about the damn sissys who act like gers...
isnt about the guys who act so gu niangs...
isnt about guys no arms still wear sleeveless...
isnt about guys wif FAT arms still wear sleeveless...
isnt about guys who tink stomach muscles is everything...
isnt about guys who think training chest looks ugly...
isnt about guys who obviously cmi but try to show they can do it...
isnt about guys who always complain no time for this for that...
isnt about ppl who tink wearing specs will have no future...
(fuck ns, fancy classifying according to glasses n non glasses, u should c who is fit n who is not damn it)
isnt about ppl who tink juz becos they're pes A means they are the elite...
(fuck shit, so many pes A bodies have so much fats and cant even do pushups)
isnt about indians and their smell...
isnt about cheenaman and their uncouthness...
isnt about old man old woman and their kiasuism...
isnt about being disturbed in the middle of ur sleep by some idiot...
isnt about being disturbed in the middle of ur sleep by some stupid phone...
isnt about being disturbed in the middle of ur sleep by some alarm clock...
isnt about being disturbed in the middle of ur sleep by some fruit juice machine...
isnt about being disturbed in the middle of ur sleep by some stirring...
isnt about rich kids splashing their money right in ur face...
isnt about kids nowadays complaining how tough life is...
isnt about kids who wan to suicide for no reason watsoever...
isnt about kids who are so soft u tink that u are touching tofu...
isnt about ppl who tink william hung is the sexiest man alive...
isnt about ppl who actually tink of marrying william hung...
isnt about ppl who tink william hung is the voice...
isnt about ppl who tink willian hung is actually an inspiration...
(gimme a sledgehammer anytime and i'll whack his spastic face)
isnt about radio who plays all pop n no rock...
isnt about radio who plays rock but onli plays linkin park...
isnt about radio who tries to paly rock but ends up playing punk...
isnt about ppl who actually tink busted is a rock band...
(since when these type of music is called rock HUH)
isnt about ppl who always think u are sian juz becos ur looks says so...
isnt about ppl who say praise the lord every sunday...
isnt about ppl asking for donations on flagday...
isnt about ppl who try to sell u so things thast will be damaged within a week...
isnt about ppl who keep saying no obligation to buy but they keep pestering u...
isnt about those monks who actually own handphones...
isnt about guys who huff their chests up whenever they walk past me juz to show whos bigger...
isnt about guys who wear bright pink... shirts, pants... anything...
isnt about guys who wear bands, sissy like sai loh...
isnt about guys who sing daniel chan songs to bluff the gers...
isnt about gers who go gaga over F4 (F who?)
isnt about gers who go gaga over energy
isnt about gers who go gaga over 5566
isnt about gers who go gaga over virtually anyone coming over from taiwan...
isnt about pimply n ugly guys who surf sggals n photoforum...
isnt about guys who tink boa is their wife...
(since when boa has so many husbands)
isnt about sissy supervisor and his sissy ways...
isnt about the way he walks...
isnt about the way he talks...
isnt about the way he does his job...
isnt about the way he explains...
isnt about the way he tries to act cute...
isnt about the way he tries to initiate convos...
isnt about guys who go irc to bian mei mei...
isnt about guys who tink that honggy is pretty...
isnt about guys who tink honggy looks like boa...
isnt about guys who tink honggy is hot...
isnt about guys who keep pestering honggy becos they tink honggy is a ger...
isnt about guys who tok nonstop about duno wat shit...
isnt about guys who tink doing pushups is sth to boast about...
isnt about guys who swim 50m and say they r tired...
isnt about guys who swim stop swim stop...
isnt about guys who do nothing but suntan and no swim...
isnt about guys making out in the water...
isnt about guys who wan to challenge u when u're oreadi in ur 40th lap...
isnt about guys who anyhow splash water...
isnt about kids who duno how to swim but know how to kick ur birdie...
isnt about ppl who tink being thin looks cool...
isnt about ppl who tikn being skinny is the in thing...
isnt about ppl who has ribcage showing and says they're fit...
isnt about ppl who have onli skin stuck to the chest...
isnt about ppl who tink they can do it juz becos u did it...
isnt about listening to the ketchup song...
isnt about listening to hey ya...
isnt about listening to any william hung songs...
isnt about listening to any black music...
isnt about ppl who tinks kill bill rocks...
isnt about those fucking charities...
isnt about guys who complain they got no life...
isnt about guys who complain they are lonely...
isnt about guys who complain no one likes them...
isnt about guys who complains there r no gers ard him...
isnt about guys who tink im always busy wif gers
isnt about guys who tink i always go out...
isnt about ppl who tink i smoke...
isnt about ppl who tink i drink...
(fuck fuck, fuck them all, i stay home way more than any 20yr old guy... so stfu)

all these i can tolerate...
the one thing i cant stand is....

PPL WHO ACTUALLY HAVE DOUBTS IN MY ABILITY

if its strangers its okie...
thats understandable since u duno me, i duno u...
but its bloody frens...
like shit like that...
know me for so long liao...
then u actually think i cannot do it?
wtf loh, i ask u...

if its something i know i canot do then okay la...
i know i cant cycle for shit...
i know i cant skate for shit...
i know i cant swim freestyle for shit...
i know i cant be more outgoing for shit...

but if its something that i am rather good in...
then pls, leave everything to me...
instead of questioning my ability...
this juz reminds me of a song...

trust nobody, i duno who to call a fren becos they all juz pretend to be
fuck everybody, this is to y'all cos everybody's an enemy


but u can always thank them in future...
ppl who put u down is ur driving force for success...
u hate thme, and u wan to show u can do it...
u know why some ppl are so successful in life?
becos they have this immense hatred in them...
they want to prove everybody wrong...
they want to show that they're the best...
so that no one will ever insult or humiliate them again...

funny now that the truth has finally been exposed...
im interested to see how the nkf shows will fare this yr...
when ure toking about non profit organisations...
u're supposed to have little for reserves rite...
fancy having nearly 200m for reserves...
that is like damn a lot loh...
actually i didnt knoe about it at first...
the new paper doesnt put this stuff...
i saw an email from nkf...
desperately trying to clarify its tieup wif aviva...
im curious, i thought i have oreadi opted out of the email thing...
why do they still have my email address...

why do u tink companies wan to cooperate...
becos they believe both sides can benefit from one another...
u tell me loh which company is so dumb...
to cooperate wif a organisation that doesnt make profits and nd funds frequently...
obviously there is something fishy going on...
they should juz stop the charity drives...
and contiune onli when they nd money...
every year keep asking is like shit...
then wat, keep watching the money grow n grow...
from 3 yr reserves to like 10 yr 20 yr 50 yr?
and pls loh, the artistes are not meant to do stunts 1...
all they know is act, even though their acting is liek shit...
frankly if u ask them do they enjoy doing it...
i tink deep down they will say of cos not, i rather stay home slp..
than putting my life at risk for this fucking charity...

as u can see, i have no compassion for them...
maybe one day i need their help...
but i still dun see the need to donate...
any organ failures? blame it on ur lousy body system...

ps: orgasm isnt the most wonderful thing on earth...
the most wonderful thing on birth...
is being able to urinate...
is being able to shit...
is being able to eat...
is being able to sleep...
that is the necessities and the most wonderful stuff u can ever have...

"pissed is like pissing on the bowl" - hong

12:10 AM

April 10, 2004 COLOURED.


what is the world coming to...

i thought my masterpiece was goingg to be presented to those big shots...
but it slipped my mind that the boss isnt in charge of IT...
in theory he is, but he knows nuts about them...
actually hes a financial controller la...
and since serene mentioned something abt the community meeting...
i knew there goes my 1 minute of fame...

but i still can take comfort that ppl will get to see it...
at least show them wat attachment ppl is capable of doing...
instead of doing those shit work...

he said he will present them...
but i was fucked like a kid...
he didnt show it during the community meeting...
although he did mentioned about the intranet having a fresh look...
and he did credit my name but it seems ppl werent interested...

great, i shall leave this piece to rot...
let them deal with things themselves...
all the crap about how easy it is...
i can tell u once im gone they will have problems maintaining the site...
it isnt juz spotting patterns and edit as appropriate...
its much more than that, get it?

and i dun understand y do i have to show proof that im taking napfa...
y issit that employees can take urgent leave for no reason n i cant...
becos im a student? becos i look like one who likes to skip classes?
i oso duno wat to give him as proof...
i just printed out the email and thats it...
either he take it or im gonna shoved it up his ass...

everyone thinks im afraid of ns right now...
i was wondering how tough can it be...
esp when u onli need to do 20 pushups in 30 minutes for punishment...
thats welfare for u after too much complaints from parents...
like shit like that loh...
do 20 is like... so so so so little?
i was expecting like 50 onwards...

pushups is no big deal...
i guess the running more or less will kill me...
but a lot of ppl oso cant run veri well...
so ppl die wif me i oso happy...
at least not the pathetic pattern can liao...

on good old friday...
everyone is embracing one another...
in the swimming pool guess wat i saw...
2 nicely-shaped guys were cuddling right in the pool...

usually if its guy n ger its normal...
kiss kiss, hug hug, touch touch...
all action done in the pool i dun mind...
everyones so cheapskate, we love free shows dun we...

if big guy n small guy...
erm, still acceptable la...
becos we know the small guy is forced...
and theres nothing we can do...
since that guy's big...
and its another free show loh...
so no one will stop them de...
i mean if guys like to c les making out...
gers should like gays making out...
somemore in the pool, so erotic nia...

but big guy n big guy is a bit too much to take...
not for the normal ppl for viewing...
and certainly not suitable for the faint-hearted...
so what if its free show...
its gross enuf to make everyone squirm...
so unless u're one of those into anal, or bestial sex...
how u wish that u were born blind...

i believe love makes ppl do crazy things...
it makes u do things out of the norm...
but it certainly doesnt induce u to become a crazy person...
u know like juz being released from a mental hospital like tt...
becos i have simply no idea wat that ger is doing in front of her bf...
shes acting like shes a... 3 yr old kid???
doing dumbo actions in front of him...
when i say dumbo, i mean some realli realli dumbo things...
its been a long time since i have seen a clown in action live...
she was the clown, doing stupid things...
and i tink even the bf feels like beating her...
he must have regretted bringing her out...
my advice is to put her on a leash next time...

and becos its good friday...
ppl are going to c passion of the christ...
after all, its free...
paid for by the oh so generous churches...
either to renew faith for the followers...
or trying to recruit more members...
u know, the brainwashing...

i always hate them for the brainwashing part...
no offence, but dun u tink its time to stop this practice...
i dun see any other religions going around visiting households...
inviting them to go for services to experience something special...
its not the general elections, there is no nd to pay ppl visits...

i can still remember my first damn brainwashing experience...
the poly orientation, first day then i tink all of us...
the new year ones all have to go n listen to them crap...
and it was not a mass lecture of sorts...
its one to one, to make it more personal n show that they r sincere...

i could have believe the things they said...
if only that person toking to me was a ger...
but it was a guy and simply put, its over between the both of us...
it ended as soon as it started...
the usual do u believe in god, y u dun think god exists...
and the do u wan god to guide u, are u repentant for the sins u committed...
lastly its the say a prayer n god will protect u...

i went thru this process becos i was a nice person...
my fren at the other side ended up arguing wif the guy...
seriously when he asked me to say a prayer...
i was like wat the fuck...
i mean u cant be serious rite...
all the seriousness in the face n toking to air...
i told him i duno how to say prayer...
i onli know how to clasp hands together to pray pray...
then he told me to repeat wat he said...
i wanted to laugh u know...
he was so serious n i was blabbering bullshit...
he asked me if i meant wat i was saying...
there is onli 1 answer to this...
u say no, he will go all over again abt how gd n how great it is...
u say yes, u save all the crap n valuable time...

god made me lie, now hows that
is that a sin?
i dun care, i juz wan to get away...

that started my dislike for them...
n soon i learned that they were labelled babaxiaos...
i dun mean i hate them to the core...
i like them as friends...
as long as they dun go into their religions...
that is absolutely fine wif me...

i dun like it when they ask u do u believe in god...
everyone has their own definition of god...
and they should juz leave it at that...
instead of trying to get u to believe them...

but if forced to choose one...
i like the goddess of sex...
thank you very much...

if i wasnt nice...
i would have told them...
i believe in god...
i believe that i am god...
i am the one who controls my life and not some imaginary person...
n becos i am god...
u should know my religion...
if u dun, go read up more...

its juz a thin line between a free thinker and a satanist u know...

i was seriously thinking if there is a popular islamic movie
will they show in theatres or banned straight away...
without it stepping a single step on our shores...
who knows the government may label it as terrorist related...
its rather biased dun u tink...

buddhists have the darmo serial some time last yr...
when it was shown on tv right...
i hate the chants at the end of the show everyday...

u dun see shows wif nazis, satanists, kkks, dogs...
they dun have the same amount of propaganda given...
everyone has the right to believe in wat he tinks is right...
beocs they should consider more choices...
instead of getting juz that one show...
next time juz ban all shows wif religion themes...
then it will shut everyone up...
and i will be happy as well...

do u know there is a kid who kena called up to court
juz becos his mother suspects his son is satanist...
becos he listens to marilyn manson...
and he possess a necklace wif an inverted cross...

wat is wrong wif that u tell me loh...
ppl can go ard wearing crosses...
ppl can say it loud how much they love being christians
ppl can listen to POD, jars of clay...
y arnt they called up to court...
they're a public nuisance u know that...

but i have something to say...
i listen to jars of clay n POD...
i mean they have nice music...
juz as much as i listen to slipknot n marilyn manson...
after all, i dun go too much into the lyrics...
its juz lyrics after all, u know like poems...
if poems sound nice, its a good poem...
music sounds nice, good music!

i dun c ppl lambasting groove coverage god is a ger song...
seems like everyone likes that song...
nice music nice vox...

and i have not finished my piece on religions yet...
u see, they so rich to give out tickets...
do u see them give out free meals or not...
this one i not sure, so i cant state as facts...
what i do know is buddhist temples offer free meals...
hindu temples oso have free meals as well...
churches................ no news from them....
although i know that they do give out funds to those in need...

churches are bloody rich...
the amount of money they spend on building a lavishing church...
is totally insane loh i tell you...
places of worship are juz meant to be places to pray...
and thats it, u dun nd ppl to go WAHHHHH when they step inside...
it defeats the purpose of going to pray right...
since when they so haolian wan to build better than the other ones...
and having the cross to be taller than anyone else...
chinese temples oso...
see that temple near batok driving centre?
tt huge gold statue resting there...
its totally sick to c ppl wasting money on these...
spend money wisely la, go give to more ppl...
offer more free meals, free tuition and stuff...
make until so grand looking like fuck like that...

although those devotees will insist that its money well spent...
but i dun c them saying the same thing when the government draw the taxes...
no matter where the goverment spend the money on, ppl will always complain...
saying wat a waste of money and y they so wasteful...
pls loh, if u urselves are doing it n u insist its money well spent...
why cant the government do the same thing...
what comes around goes around...
if u wan to complain...
then stop competing wif one another to c who builds the higher cross...
who builds the highest statue...
who builds the most expensive...
but ppl juz dun listen do they...

u know u work so hard...
slog ur ass off...
yet ur pay is still so low...
ever wonder where all that money go to?

all the managers are eating the money...
spending on all sorts of expensive white elephants...
they always get to fly business class...
u done so much for company yet has to fly on economy...
next time the company dun do so well...
u ought to question the management...
how they spend their money...
if they dun anyhow spend and dun live in 5 star hotels...
the bonus payday will be fatter for employees...

enuf of money matters...
time for some things i like... =)

i was laughing my ass out when i read that ppl actually go for surgery to reduce their nipple size...
becos either they too big or uneven, simply put, they're not pretty enuf...
that is the reason they gave for doing the surgery...
since when ppl see nipples will say "wow ur nipples so pretty wor!"
they say their bfs or husbands wan their nipples to be pink, small n round...
i think the guys cant be serious right...
is they themselves who bite n yanked at the nipples...
so ended up the gers's nipples being too big, uneven n the color change...
and few ppl ever have pink nipples to begin wif loh...
waste of money go surgery to get them small n "pretty"...
the guys will juz bite it off and its back to the operating room again...

wats more weird is areolas can actually be reduced!
how to reduce huh, discolour them?
a bunch of weirdos for ppl seeking perfect breasts...
one point to note...
those doing breast surgery, nipple reduction, areola reductions...
do u know almost all of the surgeons are guys?
no wonder they hide behind their face masks...
they must be having a good time kneading the patient's boobs like dough...
all the fun while the patient cannot feel a thing...
i oso wan leh if like that...
but too bad i cannot study...

cheena ppl come sg to study...
still wan to complain sg ppl are lazy...
wat to say leh u tell me loh...
they are under sg scholarship wat...
if they fail to get the required grades...
they will be in deep deep deep shit...
they will end up cleaning our shit in the toilets...
sweeping floors, working as construction workers...

so wat if we are lazy, we fail fail loh...
can always retake again wat...
u c those foreign students always top of class...
is becos they cant afford to lose la...
lose might as well suicide...

anyway its coming out in tml's paper...
and most likely there will be a sequel next week...
wif singaporeans hitting back at lousy cheenas...
they n their snobbish behavoir...
they n their rude manners...
they n their foreign sounding cheena...
they n their even worst english...

its a known fact that we hate cheenas...
juz as much as we hate indians for their smell...
no offence again...
hmm, how come i offend so many ppl in this post...
duno la, i tink im juz speaking for the masses...
whom dun dare to say what they realli feel...

moral of the story is always so simple...
dun like us, get out of our country...
when u come here, we rule...
n u sucks unless u're pretty or handsome...
now u know y zhang ziyi rocks n the rest of china sucks...

are u going to give in juz becos terrorists have attacked?
who is the real terrorists some have often questioned...
in my opinion, there is no bad guys...
its juz how u perceived it...
i always find it weird that ppl are going against their country...
u know for attacking other country...
telling them not to kill innocent ppl n shit...
in the end they r the ones who gets killed...
when the attacked starts to retaliate...

support ur own country mah...
if wan to defeat, go all out...
crush the country until theres no living person...
no doubt u will be hated...
but wats that compared to getting rid the root of evil...
everyone knows the china story rite...
unification of china is made possible...
becos qin shihuang is ruthless...
crush each n every single one of his enemies...
he is hated but ppl will remember him 4ever...
becos he is credited for uniting the whole of china...
without him there would still be chaos...
so go ahead n get rid of the country that is making trouble...
world population down = current ppl can live longer...

im done for the day...
the first line of this post says it all...
wat is the world coming to...
its a mad mad world...

Tears for Fears - Mad World

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me



"mad world mad world" - hong

10:35 PM

April 06, 2004 COLOURED.


With the lights out it’s less dangerous
Here we are now
Entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now
Entertain us

if u wan quality work then stop checking on me...
rush somemore and i cant give excellent work...
juz like blog like that loh...
nowadays working then no time to blog...
then most of the entries all sian sian 1...
no have funny funny liao...
becos i rush to publish them mah...

the boss is coming over to my table twice a day to see my progress...
if u dun trust me, then dun bother giving me things to do...

but yesterday he revealed something important...
and now i know why he was so anxious wif how im getting along wif it...
he says i have to get it done by thursday...
becos hes going to present the new look site during the IT meeting...
and ppl from japan is coming down...

now its like wat the fuck...
he actually got me to do something to show the bigshots...
like wow, so much belief in my ability ar...
i did say i know html but i never say i was that good...
juz like saying i know visual basic, asp, j sharp...
when all these all i know is juz basic onli...

he ought to thank his lucky stars tt his attachment student realli knows html and hes not faking it...
thanks to the slackers in my group back then doing html...
without them, i would not have been forced to learn html...

seriously i think my boss is taking a huge gamble on me...
i mean im just an attachment student...
and since attachment students always have the mentality...
that i dun belong here, i can do wat i like, slack as much as i wan...
i could have slowly take my time in revamping the website...
going way past that thursday deadline and have nothing to show...

but html is the name of the game...
and thats why i will do even if tt means sacrificing something...
not many can make me do that...
save for porno, games, erm no more?
so html is the only thing im realli interested in...

he was walking up and down yesterday...
finally today he was relaxing abit...
when he saw my progress is good...
i know i was oreadi ahead of schedule since yesterday...
he just duno the way i do things...

get the tables done n align them properly...
start linking pages all over the place...
fill the pages wif contents...
formatting wif standard text...
error checking...

finish most of it, except for some pages formatting still haben done...
by tml make site map, error check and viola, new look...
still looks like shit, but sure beats that crap frontpage work...
duno which idiot do that shit so ugly...
he gave me a pat on the back and say job well done...
i hope my supervisor approach him for the overall grade...
lol, i believe i have a high chance of getting an A...
if my supervisor decides to ask him la...
if never ask, then have to settle for B liao...
if ask my network admin, oso got chance to get A...
if based on my sissy supervisor alone, i can onli dream of B...

got more things to post...
on thursday, not now...
i think a lot of time to write tt one...
cos rite now i wan to play cm...
=)

"believe in me as i believe in u tonight" - hong

9:08 PM


some interesting theory on smurfs!

The communist smurf joke was established in the 80's, it was a 'copier joke', that passed through school and workplaces in the days before e-mail brought it to the unwashed proletariat.

According to this joke SMURF stands for Socialist Men Under a Red Father. This is funny. Smurf is just their American name, and their name is spelt 30 different ways, depending on what language you speak.

The point, as the paper went on to state:

Papa Smurf has many features that link him to communism. First, he wears RED which is different than the other Smurfs, and represents the flag of the U.S.S.R. and the Red Scare. Second, his beard is strikingly similar to Karl Marx's, the founder of communistic ideals.

All Smurfs wear a standard issue uniform, except Papa Smurf and Smurfette. The White trousers and cap are the only clothes worn by a Smurf.

The Smurfs have a caste system where they are classified by their job and personality. They all do common good for all of the community and share totally. For example, Handy Smurf builds houses for all the Smurfs.

There is no currency in Smurfland. Handy does all that work for no gain.

Smurfs like Handy and Hefty (the soldier) are held in a positive light, while Vanity and Greedy are viewed negatively.

Brainy Smurf, like Papa Smurf, is a symbolic character. The nerdy, always cynical blue being is the Smurf equivalent of Trotsky, Stalin's rival who questioned the political system in Russia. Neither Trotsky or Brainy were well liked in their homeland. Trotsky was banished to Mexico.

Gargamel enters the scenario, too. The human-sized Smurf nemesis represents capitalism. His goal is to capture the Smurfs and turn them into gold. Hence, children associate capitalism with evil.

The Smurfs have no church or religion which is a fundamental of Communistic politics as religion is banned.

However, the reasons for Gargamel chasing them were never absolutly clear, sometimes it was because they could turn iron into gold, sometimes because they were tasty, and often, in the original comic, just because it was the thing he did, without a reason at all.

So, some 80's joke turned into a 90's graduate students wet dream. Now you can find things like this on the web:

"The cartoon was really created by the Russian government in order to indoctrinate the youngest members of western society with communist beliefs and ideals thus destroying their resistance to the imminent Russian invasion that was to occur when this generation (my generation) grew up."

wtf?

No, it was a joke, and like many jokes, as the years pass from it's inception it gains more currency as a Truth. Oh and don't forget to mention that Azrael supposedly stands for the prototypical fat-cat big businessman owned by/in the pocket of the Capitalist Jew Gargamel. I've heard that too. And lets not forget the the Wall fell and communism was 'defeated' the same year that the Smurfs was cancelled... wow. Maybe you're right, just like those idiots that keep sending me "Look at all the things Kennedy and LIncoln had in common" pages. No matter that half of it is made-up, and the other half is mirepresented or so mundanely coincidental that it's boring.

Or what about this quote?

"While the British Musical Invasion was trying to debase American minds, one cartoon is accused of trying to spread communism and racist ideals to the free world. Smurfs, according to one theory is an acronym for Socialist Men Under a Red Father and are a model Communist society. The Smurfs' creator, Pierre Cullimore, was found to be a Communist Nazi with connections to the Ku Klux Klan. Both associations are supposedly depicted in the Smurfs. For example, Papa Smurf, the leader, is seen as the head of the clan. He wears a red hood while the other Smurfs wear white; the KKK leader, the Grand Dragon, wears a red hood as well. The blonde Smurfette is seen as a perfect Aryan, while the Smurfs' enemy, Gargamel, had characteristics of the common Jewish stereotype: large nosed, thrifty and dark-haired. Gargamel, in his constant search for money and gold, also represents the enemy of communism: capitalism. Lastly, in Smurf society, all the Smurfs are equal, again expressing the goal of Communism. Smurfs such as Handy, the worker, and Hefty, the soldier, are portrayed positively because of their benefits to Communist ideals. However, Brainy Smurf is constantly being thrown out of the village because he questions the ways of the Smurfs. In this way, Brainy Smurf is the Leon Trotsky to Papa Smurf's Joseph Stalin. "

This is of course, made worse, by all the people on the web that have the golden gonads to claim that they and their friends were the first to 'realize this'.

12:15 AM

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